𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗹 | 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗹𝗲𝘀 𝗹𝗲𝗰𝗹𝗲𝗿𝗰

Chapter 36

My time since last seeing Charles was split between spending it with my close friends Emilio and Lily when she was in Monaco and also work. As Lily was at the race weekends, she had only been in Monaco during some of the weekdays, where we partook in our usual plans such as going on walks and having brunch dates. However, within this time, her and Lando had officially become boyfriend and girlfriend which was going to happen sooner or later, but gave Lily this large amount of fame, which made it quite difficult when she came back from the Miami weekend for a few days as she had quite a few photographers following her. Unlike me, I believe Lily dealt well with paparazzi and interviewers as she shone when put in the spotlight.

When Lily wasn't in Monaco, I spent most of my time with Emilio and we had built an even stronger bond than both of us imagined we could've had. We were always super close but as he was always travelling we never had long periods of time to spend with each other but he had decided to not travel again until the middle of June, meaning we still had a couple more weeks to strengthen the bond further. When me and Lily spent time with each other, even though we did do some activities like the go karting we did in Bahrain, we were quite happy to sit and have conversations whilst sipping cocktails next to the beach but Emilio was completely different as he would rather be in the sea and on the beach. I was scared of the sea as I had disclosed multiple times before but the more I spent time with Emilio, the more I was in it as there had been multiple times where he pulled me in unexpectedly. I always liked my fitness but Emilio added competition to it and he definitely brought out the best of me in the last month.

After all of the social media attention I had got last month, I wasn't on my phone as much as I used to be and it was very rare that I would scroll through Instagram or twitter reading comments, even if they were about other people. The only app I really used was tiktok but even with that, I wouldn't be on it for no longer than twenty minutes at a time. I felt like I was the healthiest I could be at this moment in time and my mind was at peace. The only thing that ever disrupted that peace was the thoughts I had about Charles.

It had been a month since we had spoken and I didn't understand why I hadn't heard anything from him since. Nothing was on bad terms as far as I was aware as we had a conversation when he was home after the Australian gp and we had both agreed that we would see each other soon. Soon felt like it was never going to come at this rate and I found myself thinking about him at least once a day, whether that was on a night when I got to bed or if something reminded me of him in daytime. I did watch the races and even though I wasn't there in person I still cheered for him like I was and when he won in Miami, I still felt the excitement for him that I would've felt if I was there to congratulate him myself. I had messaged him a little 'well done' after he won, hoping he would see it but I never got no reply.

Today, I thought about him even more because when I watched the Spanish gp, which was the weekend that had just passed, he didn't look on form. He had got pole position in practice 1 and 2 but in practice 3 he got 3rd and then in qualifying he got 5th, which was quite unusual for him. The thing that worried me the most was when he didn't finish in the actual race. He didn't look up to winning and kept dropping back but as he dropped back his car also gave up on him, which I saw as coincidental but also as some sort of sign that even the car knew his mind wasn't in it.  That was the first race I had watched of him where I didn't see a spark in his eyes and he looked deflated before he had even started. When he got out of the car early, his face looked emotionless and he didn't show any anger or upset of the car not working, he just seemed defeated. Once again, I did message him but he didn't reply and I felt like I was best just giving up on whatever I was trying to achieve by reaching out to him.

I had kept close contact with Daniel and Pierre over the past couple of weeks, Pierre mostly as he kept saying I needed to come back to the grid after almost every race. Each time I told him I would eventually but I didn't know whether that was the full truth from my side as showing my face in the paddocks again, after the issues on the media last time, didn't seem like the smartest idea. Obviously he reassured me that it wouldn't be an issue as any close friend would but my biggest worry was causing any more hassle for Charles when he wasn't looking great himself right now.