Reviews And Rants

Some Awkward Requests

Hello. Hola. Namaste. Assalamalaikum. Konnichiwa. Ni Hao. Bonjour. So this is a rant about the awkward requests that I have faced in my lifetime.

1. Please sing for me
Whenever I tell people that I like singing, the first question they ask is can you sing something for me? Many start the list of songs they want to listen. One of my friends cousin, when he talked to me for the first time asked me to sing a song. When I proposed a Hindi one, he said that he only listens to English and that too Eminem. I had to decline the request.

Another incident I would like to share. I was travelling in bus and due to lack of space, I was standing. I started crooning to pass my time in a low voice. But someone heard it and asked me to sing. I sang a song of my choice and they asked for more. I complied with their request. The next day they started asking me to sing Honey Singh songs. Honey Singh songs are just meant for dancing in DJ in weddings and parties, not for singing. His songs have misogynistic lyrics. And let me not talk about how the songs are picturized. It is obscene as hell. I started to get frustrated and had to be rude to make them stop.

There are many more. If I start to rant then it would take pages.

PS: I learnt  never ever tell that singing is your hobby or be prepared to bear the consequences.

2. Be a translator
Before ranting about the incident, let me tell you that I had learnt a little bit of Japanese during my school time. Just enough to clear the basic proficiency level N-5, which is not enough to translate speeches.

Now let me narrate the incident. The Japanese Prime Minister had come to India and had struck some deals. After that it was his time to give the speech. He started in Japanese and my dad, watching it on TV, asked me to translate. I was like what the hell. I have just learnt some basic stuff not enough for translation. For translation job you need to clear the N-1 or N-2 level. Plus the accent in which they speak their language is difficult to understand until and unless you are very fluent or have visited Japan at least once neither of which was the case. Also when some Japanese people talked to me during a trip, they were a little slower than usual so that I can get what they are saying. I understood one word in the speech and from that word I framed out the whole.

3. Absurd writing requests
First of all let me tell you all, being a writer is not a easy job.

Please comment some good words on my DP. This is a common request I get many a times. They say, "You are a writer, you would be knowing flashy words. So comment some of them in my DP." I am literally like, "What the fuck do I look? A dictionary?"

Second one I get is suggest a caption for my Facebook DP. After all I am a writer, so this is my job to suggest captions for their smutty DP. And that too real quick. You all know what, it annoys me more when they in the end put some romantic comedy line as the caption, dishonouring my effort. I have more work to do than to suggest captions for your DP.

The third one I am going to tell you is the most agitating one. Since I am a writer, so I have to comply the request of listening to stupid plots of  fanfiction created by my friends of Yeh Hai Mohabatein, Swaragini, Ritvik Dhanjani and what not. At this I literally feel like scratching my head.
Share your awkward requests and how you dealt with it.