The Alpha Academy [Lost Mates Book 1]

Reasons

>>Mael

I felt my eyes sting as I tried to fight back the tears that were brimming in my eyes, ready to flow out at any moment.

I pursed my lips and tried to speak but my emotions chose to speak first. I was once again reminded that I was a sinner. A criminal. Someone who took away an innocent life. And I could no longer control it. Being asked if I was a murderer directly was a blow in the gut.

These feelings have been locked inside of me for far too long and now that someone has asked me about my sin, I got an emotional outburst.

My vision became blurry and tears started rolling down my cheeks. I couldn't even suppress my voice and began to sniffle as I cried. My breathing immediately became unstable and my shoulders trembled as I let out my feelings.

I guess these tears were due for a very long time.

"Hey, hey!" Eli rushed over to me, "Hey..." He took my hands in his, "Why are you crying?"

"I did," I cried harder as the reality of my actions hit me hard once again, "I did," Especially because now I was admitting to the crime, "I killed him!" I bawled louder, "I'm so sorry!" I sniffled, unable to stop myself, I just let myself cry, "I killed Mael!"

Eli looked stressed as he watched me. My face started getting red and a frown appeared on his face but he looked troubled. In the end, he sighed and pulled me into his embrace. He picked me up in his arms and took me to the couch where I cried on his chest.

I should be feeling like shit, even worse now that someone else knows that I'm a murderer but the scent of rain, the cool cozy pheromones, and his warmth stayed with me, calming me. He was against the couch arm, half laying on the seat while I had my face buried in his chest.

After I calmed down, I removed my face from his shirt that had the proof of my breakdown on it and looked at Eli. I sat between his legs and he straightened up a little.

He placed his hands on my cheeks and wiped the tears away, "Have you calmed down now?"

I shook my head in a 'no', but I felt a lot better than before.

"No?" He smiled softly and I sniffled, then shook my head again lightly. He wiped my cheeks dry and then pulled me in a hug.

It was so calming being right next to him. I didn't want to let go. I felt butterflies in my stomach mixed with a sense of peace.

I hugged him back. It was almost as if I loved his touch. There was nothing that could be compared to it.

...

I love his touch?

I broke the hug and backed away a little to look at him in shock but his expression didn't change.

I shook my head and focused on the matter at hand.

What now? I looked down as I placed my hands on his chest.

"What is it?" He asked

"You know another one of my secrets now," I said softly, "I feel vulnerable."

"Don't worry," He smiled softly and I glanced up at his face, "I'm not telling anyone." He pulled me closer to him, between his thighs, with my hands on his chest, enough that I could feel him yet look at his face. He had his arms around my back and I didn't mind it. In fact, I liked it a lot. Being with him made me feel safe.

!!!

What is wrong with me?

Why am I suddenly feeling things I never have before? And for Eli?