Our Time (BILLIE EILISH)

- O n e h u n d r e d & t h i r t e e n -

Flashback: August 1st 2:40AM

Maddie's POV:

Nicole and I were laying on the couch and she was asleep, peacefully. I don't know the how the fuck this bitch is asleep, it's hot as hell in here.

I got up and walked to the bathroom, it took me a second to find it because her house has so many hallways and little nooks. I took my bag with me, because that's something I learned. No matter where you are, take your bag.

I looked in the mirror, and I could tell that I was crying previously in the night, right, I broke up with Billie. Anyways, I set my bag on the counter and I realized there's an envelope sticking out, then that hit me, that's the letter that my brother gave me in San Fran, saying it's from my mom.

I sat there for like twenty minutes trying to debate if I wanted to open it or not, I wanted to know what it said, but if it was pointless?

I got tired of debating and decided to open it, the anniversary of her death is just over a month away. I made sure not to tell Billie the day she died, I didn't tell her the date, because I didn't have the heart to tell her that she died two days after my birthday.

I sat on the counter, and quietly opened the letter. I noticed that my hands were shaking, nothing new, I could tell the letter was old, like old old, she died almost two years ago. It just looks like the letter has been through a lot.

Okay here we go,

    Madison,

        Babygirl, I am so sorry. I should've told you about Lex and Nicole sooner, I just didn't want to hurt you. I know how fragile your heart is, and it would've ruined you mentally like it already has. I miss you mad's I really do, please come back just to see me, and Gavin. Lexi was in the wrong, I was trying to protect you, your dad misses you so much. He doesn't leave the couch anymore, he doesn't go to work. I'm going to come and see you, and if I can't make it, please come see me. I love you so much I'll see you soon babygirl.

            -Janet.

Okay I'm crying now, she basically foreshadowed her own death. "If I can't make it, please come see me." I mean I could go to her grave, yeah I'm going to do that towards the end of August, because the plan was to never shut my mom out, like yeah I was pissed, she was the only member in my family that wasn't toxic. She didn't deserve to go, I left because of everyone else, not her.

I crossed my legs on the counter and leaned against the mirror, my arms were folded in my lap as I just thought about everything. I don't know how I feel, like that letter meant a lot. My mom was easily manipulated just like I was.

Then I remembered that I'm literally sitting in the bathroom, of the girl that has done this to my family. Like okay we get it, I'm stupid, but I never knew that I was this stupid. I wanna leave, but I don't wanna call an Uber at 2 in the morning. So I have to wait it out until morning, after this I don't think I really wanna talk to Nicole anymore. Billie's been trying to get it through my head that she's the reason my family's like this but my dumbass can't put the pieces together. I should've listened to her, but no, my dumbass ran back to her.

I sat in the bathroom for what felt like hours, but realistically it was like 40 minutes. I finally walked back out of the bathroom, to see Nicole still sleeping. I laid down right by her and she rolled over and wrapped her arm around me. All of a sudden I'm uncomfortable around her. Like her arm being around me, is making me feel trapped, I'm stupid for even running back to her. I hate myself for not listening to Billie.

But that shouldn't even bother me because we're not together anymore, like what's the point in caring what she thinks? We're not together, but like she was always right and always had a point.

I wonder if Billie and I are ever going to be the same, like I know you think I'm over dramatic, but like what she did really hurt. She knows what I've been through and she proceeded to put me through it again.

My thoughts finally slowed down as I became more mentally tired, I got tired of thinking and I don't know if I fell asleep but my eyes were closed for hours.

A couple hours later...

I woke up when I saw the sun reflecting on the wall, I rolled over, I was now facing Nicole, all of a sudden I felt her running her hand through my hair. I hid my face in the couch, because I didn't want her to know that I was uncomfortable. Because she'd put the pieces together and notice that something was wrong.

Nicole got up and I heard her open the fridge, she walked back towards me and handed me a water.

Maddie: "Thanks.''

Nicole: "No problem, how'd you sleep?"

Maddie: "Fine, I have shit to do today. So I think I'mma head out."

Nicole: "Let me take you home."

Maddie: "No I'mma Uber, but thank you though."

Nicole: "No problem, call me if you need anything."

Maddie: "I will."

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do i dare say.... im back on my grind?

lmao in other words I HAVE THE BEST IDEA and ur all going to cry.

this chapter was so draining to write because it felt like idk how to explain it, no more flashbacks. we're done with these lmaooo. i was too lazy to edit this.

thanks ily

words: 1003.