Let me love you. ✔

Oh Baby

Nova

I feel so many emotions flood through me that I don't know which one will take the best of me.

One part wants to laugh, at how ridiculous this sounds. Then the next comes knocking at my door, asking, what if it's true? And I want nothing more than to scream at the pain. Anger takes the lead, tearing me apart in countless pieces. Fear, fear of the truth. Fear that I made the mistake of letting someone own my heart when I know it's only to get broken. And right back into denial.

I look in a daze at Matt when he jerks my arm with much more power than necessary. He looks so pale, pearls of sweat sliding down his temple. Is this the face of an innocent or guilty man?

"Nova, do you believe what I tell you?! "His eyes seem to search for something in mine. I have no answer to it because I didn't hear his explanation. He fists his hair when I don't react, grunting loud.

I notice we are still in the parking lot. "Can we go home, please?" It's waiting for the paparazzi to show up and we don't need another scandal added to it.

Matt takes another look at me before starting the car. Maybe asking himself why I'm talking calm, not yelling, not nothing.

With my head leaning against the window I watch the lights pass by. Wondering what is taking place behind the walls of each house. Wondering if the lives behind those doors are happy.

Mothers reading a bed night story, kissing the foreheads of their children goodnight. A father watching football with his sons and explaining the game with passion. Couples in love, making love. Or are they going through the same feeling as I? And what is exactly what I feel?

I walk straight up to the bedroom when we arrive. I throw the dress in a corner and put on a hoody with sweatpants. To my surprise, Matt didn't follow me and I'm glad he didn't. I take my time to take all the bobby pins out, brush my hair and clean my face, it was all a waste.

The living room is empty when I walk down. I find him sitting on a chair at his kitchen bar typing furiously on his phone. I grab a bottle of water before taking the opposite chair and say as cool as a cucumber. "What do you expect from me?"

I lay my hands in my lap when he moves his over the countertop. Maybe he's hoping to grab some sort of confirmation that I'm really in front of him. He looks hurt by my rejection but answers my question. "I don't expect anything from you. I can only pray that you believe me."

"Tell me why she believes... states... that you're the father of her unborn child." My eyes lock with his saying the last nine words.

"Nova, I did not sleep with her! I swear, I'm ripping my hair out why she keeps on saying it. She even got my parents involved and I'm beginning to get paranoid."

"What do you mean? Why would she tell your parents? No, wait, how long does she claims to be pregnant?"

"About eighteen weeks." Looking at my reaction.

"New York," I say it more to myself than him.

"You got to be kidding me, Matt!" Did my gut tell me the truth back then? Have I been stupid to believe he stayed only for the audition? Nova, please. I hear him say it only my mind is too clouded for me to react.

I didn't see him walk around the kitchen bar until he turns my chair to grab my hand and falls onto his knees in front of me.

Tears stream down his face and his voice sound broken when he says. "Nova, I'm begging you. I did not sleep with her. She can't be pregnant with my child. It's not possible!" He lets my hand go only to wrap his arms around my legs, pushing his body against them. "Please Nova..." he begs again through hiccups.