Let me love you. ✔

Oh Don't You

Matt

"I think I would."

"You think?!" I can't believe her. "You fucking think! What is that supposed to mean, Nova?"

Her lower lip begins to tremble and it makes me even angrier. I'm tired of this shit. "Nova! Did you only come back to me for financial reasons? Tell me, now!"

Her eyes go wide. "What? No, Matt.."

I push her away when she reaches out and hiss. "Don't."

She tries to rise from the bed and I pull her a bit too harsh back, making her winch. "Don't try that either. Explain yourself!"

"You won't understand."

"No, Nova! Like I said a minute ago. I don't understand."

She swallows, takes a deep breath to steady her voice and I can feel her eyes burn through me. "I told you, Matt. I told you from the beginning that I'm not an easy walk in the park and that I will push you away when I need you the most."

Unbelievable, she's going to blame me for our break up? "First of all. You don't get to decide if I deserve better or not, Nova! Second, you can't blame me for the demons inside your head. And last. I would have thought that I showed you more than enough that you're it for me. All the nights I took care of you and try to scare away your fears. I wiped away your tears every time you cried. Every kiss we shared, every touch ... Nova, how can that not be enough for you!"

"It is, Matt! It took me time and as I said, some stupid decisions. I came to my senses and realized that I threw away the best thing that ever happened to me! Matt, I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, only you."

"What else did you do?"

"What?"

"I asked, what else did you do." She keeps on saying that she made some stupid decisions and I want to know what else she did.

"I uh... I don't see how that's gonna help us."

"It helped you see things clearly. I like to know what else it took to make you come back to me. Besides trying to get yourself killed and getting knocked up with my child."

Her eyes beg me to stop but I can't. "Tell me! Tell me now, Nova."

She sighs and her fingers do the nervous dance, fiddling with the hem of her shirt. "If you want to know. I tried to forget you by trying to sleep with another man."

What have you done now?

My fist clench. I need to breathe through my nose and grit my teeth not to explode. "You did what?!"

"I'm sorry!" Tears fill up her eyes and something between breathing and a cry leaves her mouth. "I couldn't do it, Matt! I kept thinking about you and every time I closed my eyes, I saw you! Matt, nothing happened. Please, believe me."

"When?"

She blinks fast and looks confused. "What?"

"When?"

"Why does the..."

"When. Nova!"

Her lips shake uncontrollably. "The Friday Dean attacked me."

"Wow," I say sarcastically. "You had a really busy night, didn't you? You must have been so desperate to go back inside and find someone to fuck you."

"It wasn't like that!" She chokes out. "Dallas took me to his home and he..."

"Dallas?!" She's kidding me. "Nova, what the heck! Dallas! Did you sleep with him?"

She freezes when she realized what she just said. 'No, Matt... nothing....we... I didn't do it. I.. "