Let me love you. ✔

Worlds Apart

Nova

It's been three weeks since Jaimy and Hannah got married and went away on their honeymoon. The lucky girl was surprised with a vacation to the Maldives. She texted me beautiful pictures and I can say that I'm pretty jealous of her and her husband, with the white beaches and blue oceans they are swimming in. They deserve it and there are only three days left before normal life will swallow them back up.

She didn't bring up Jaimy's kissing another woman at his bachelor party. I guess he didn't tell her yet and maybe he never will. I'm not going to think about it anymore. It's not my confession to make and constantly thinking about it makes me stressed out. Which isn't good for me, nor our baby girl.

Our baby girl. We are doing just fine, her and I.. Matt wasn't able to come back for the sonogram and I know he feels terrible about it. It's fine, though. Just two more weeks until he is home and I will leave this house full of memories behind me to make new ones in his.

Every day I pack something, as I promised. The house already felt empty without Hannah and with each piece that goes into one of the moving boxes also a piece of our history disappears. She became a much bigger part of my life than I ever could have imagined walking into this house a little over two years ago.

Two years, unbelievable what happened in that short amount of time. She is such a strong woman. Not only mentally, but also physically.

A smile appears on my lips when I think back to all the threats she made. She would have kicked Dallas and Matt multiple times in their precious jewels if it was to her.

But all joking aside, she let me believe in myself again. She pushed me to make the most of my life and I hope I'll eventually find the right words to explain how much she means to me.

I realized that I would love for my daughter to be as strong as her. And that gave me also the clarity that I don't want to become Matt's assistant. I want our daughter to learn how to survive this mad world on her own, of course with a little help from her parents. That she doesn't need a husband or wife, who knows, to accomplish her dreams. How can I be her example when I don't have my own life and depend on Matt having enough roles to live from.

Don't get me wrong, I would never leave his side if I don't have to. But that's not a healthy relationship either. You have to have your small moments without your other half to keep it exciting, to keep longing for each other. And what if, for god sake I pray not, we don't have a happy ever after? That means I have nothing to fall back on.

People say, don't think about that, nothing in life is certain. That's right, nothing is. But if I can make sure we always have money to fall back on, even if we do have our happy after, I will.

Although Matt is accepting my choice not to become his assistant, he still wants me to quit. I understand his worries, but I'm not quitting. This job is important to me, to keep me occupied and in touch with my friends. I'm going to stay at the Wakefield Brothers until I finish my education.

Yes, you heard me right, I'm going back to school, night school. No, not right now. After this little bun came into this world. I'm going to cut back on the hours when she is here.

My belly became too obvious to hide for Mister Carrick. I knew that I had to face him and he reacted like I thought he would. Like a total dick head! I got my claws out and we came to a nice agreement that works for both of us.

I hear you think, what is she going to do when she finished her education? Well, I will become the co-owner of Comfort spy. Surprise! To me too, to be honest. My father couldn't be happier that his company will stay in the family.

First, I will work from home and create my network. My father will introduce me along the way, while I'm studying, to his clients in LA.
At least I know two of them already.