prove it ; colby brock

1.4 - regret.

in the morning, we had to say our goodbyes to colbys family. lesa was an emotional wreck, not knowing if she'd be seeing her son in two months or another two years. colby was seemingly in a rush to get back to california.

we were only about an hour into the trip when colby received a text from the boys, saying there was a party on friday night at their friend kai's house.

"would you want to go to kais party with me?" colby asked, turning my way slightly more.

"i wish i could but that's stassies moms birthday and i promised i'd go to vegas with them. it's only overnight, i meant to tell you about it this morning." i told him.

"that's fine. there'll be other parties." he shrugged, focusing on the road.

colby ;

on the long car ride home, i got to thinking of how fast ayla and i's relationship was going. more so how much i was giving up to be with her. i couldn't bring girls back home with me and not care that they were gone when i woke up. i couldn't flirt with every girl i see, or dance with them. oh god, what is this mess?

ayla was completely oblivious to this and it almost made me feel guilty. we weren't quite at the 'i love you' stage but from what i knew, we were getting close. and i don't think i'm ready for that. i'm only 19. 19 year olds should not be tied down in 'i love you' relationships when they can be out living their lives.

how long would i have to wait for sex, too? ayla clearly isn't ready... and i'm fine with that, honestly. i really like her and i wanted her to be happy. it's just that in any other relationship, we'd already be way past that stage. and they wouldn't be nearly the deathly 'i love you' stage.

ayla fell asleep shortly after i started thinking about this, meanwhile i was in a panic. i just needed to sleep it off and then i'd be back to thinking how pretty and sweet my girlfriend is, as oppose to wanting to fuck somebody else.

after ayla woke back up, the vibe was simply just off. it was no longer a fun car ride filled with music, and talk about music, stops for food and both of us stealing glances at each other. instead, it was fairly silent, asides from the hum of the killers album that ayla had turned on.

the next 10 hours were excruciating for me. all i did was panic about my life with the girl beside me. and she could tell that there was something going on. ayla had fallen back asleep about an hour from home.

at the ten minute mark, i gently reached over and rubbed circles on her back. "hey ayls." i cooed. oh god, who am i? "we're almost home." i said. i watched her stir slightly and then pull the blanket up over her head. i had thrown it on her when she fell asleep just so she was comfortable.

"i don't wanna get up." she groaned. "what time is it?" i watched her from the corner of my eye as she sat up, looking in the little mirror.

"around nine." i said, making her sigh. she closed the mirror and rearranged the blanket. "do you want to go back to my place and just sleep there?" i asked her.

"yeah, i'll just call stas in case she tries to come over while i'm gone." she said, pulling out her phone. she yawned as she brought the phone to her ear, tiredly running his fingers through his hair. "i have a nirvana song stuck in my head, thanks to you. that one song... i don't know the- oh hey stas!" i watched her look down at her lap and play with the string on her pants. i was able to see the hickeys on her inner thighs, that i had left the previous night. "yeah, i'm fine. he's a good driver." she laughed, making me join her. "i'm staying at colbys tonight... i'll be going back home in the morning." she blushed, lowering her voice. "no, we're not going to do that." she said, making me chuckle. "okay, goodnight. i love you too."

"what's a pirates favorite letter?" she asked me.

"rrrrr." i said.

"yarrrr, yee'd think so, but me first love be the C." she said.

it went silent after that. i was back to letting my thoughts consume me.

ayla ;

i was freaking out on the inside, trying to think of what i could have done to make him turn this way, and then it hit me. he finally got something out of me last night. now he's ignoring me. i felt my heart sink and all i wanted to do was cry. was nic right? i thought he was different. he said he was different.

"can you take me home?" i asked quietly. he turned to me, asking why. i just shrugged. what was i supposed to say? "because." i said, bringing my knees to my chest.

when we got to my house, i wordlessly got out and went to the back to get my bag. he unlocked the back, getting my bag out for me. he stood there awkwardly. i could tell he was debating whether or not to kiss me. i cleared my throat, deciding to speak up.

"bye colby." i quickly said, turning around and walking up the driveway. and that was that.