Things I Can't (Larry Stylinson)

Louis' Birthday

Dear Diary,

Today is a special day. Someone in the world was born today. Out of seven billion people, my love and best friend was born.

That's right. Today is Louis' Tomlinson's birthday!

It's a great day. But it wasn't as happy as it should've been.

I had to break the news to Louis before he left LA that I would be staying longer due to management's request for PR. Therefore, I couldn't make his party.

You can probably guess Louis wasn't thrilled by the news.

He actually was really silent about it. He finished packing and just gave me a sad look before he went to bed that night.

I didn't bug him about it though. I let him deal with it alone that night. The next day, his flight out, he did talk to me. He said it was okay and he understood. He told me he'd see me after I got back and we'd celebrate on our own time.

But I knew when he was lying. There was a small crack in his voice when he said it was okay. There was a flash of rage in his eyes when he said he understood. He looked distraught when he hugged me goodbye.

But before he let go, he whispered into my ear those words he said at the bar.

"Next year, Harry. That's it."

They're still ringing in my ears. Those were his last words to me before he left the hotel for the airport.

For his birthday, I had texted him and even called him. They awkward feeling I had before he left was gone and we talked about what we'd do together once I got back.

When we finally hung up, I checked twitter. The fans were expecting tweets from us boys to wish Louis a happy birthday. I was tempted to but I still couldn't shake what Louis had told me earlier.

So I opted out to see what his words were filled with. I didn't want to risk anything changing the course of his words.

Later today, I was out with Hayley. We had went shopping, getting last minute for gifts for her family. It was nice and we talked about the tour ending and how her family had a huge party tomorrow for Christmas.

It was a nice, relaxing "date". The only downside, which we both knew would tag along, was the paps. They weren't hounding us but we knew they were there.

I dropped her back off at her house and headed to my hotel for the night. There I wanted to Skype Louis for tonight or just call him again. But out of habit, I checked twitter first.

It was calm beside people tweeting the pictures of Hayley and I. They were mainly annoyed those pictures emerged on Louis' birthday.

Something else had caught my eye. Larry shippers, or "Larries", were saying this is what caused Louis' recent behavior.

I checked their accounts and saw some pictures of Louis exiting a bar- drunk. You could see it in his posture.

I checked my TL and saw people were saying these pictures were the reason he got himself drunk. That made my heart hurt.

I didn't want to be the reason for Louis' pain. Especially, if I couldn't be there for him.

From twitter it seemed the pictures of us emerged about four hours ago, at the beginning our date. Skip ahead 6-8 hours for London time, it would be close to midnight.

Louis must've seen the pictures and just had enough. I don't know if they're speculations were true or not. I couldn't check because when I called Louis, it rang till voicemail.

And that's how I ended up with my second bottle of alcohol. It hurt to think I caused Louis to drink himself drunk.

Those cursed words he told me twice are still ringing in my ears. Hopefully, the alcohol will numb them out.

And the pain. The pain we shouldn't have to feel or numb out.

"Next year, Harry. That's it."

Cheers to that. Whatever it means.

Things I Can't:
#22- Stand causing Louis pain

Love,
H. xx