Things I Can't (Larry Stylinson)

Interview

Dear Diary,

Today was good. It was fun and different- a good different.

The day after Louis and I had been confronted by management for Louis' decision to break off Eleanor's contract, we had an interview set up.

We had one group one with all five of us then we split off into groups of two and three. Louis and I were in one. It was different for sure.

We had agreed to not break any rules and act like normal band mates and give no indication of what our real intention was.

Both sets of interviews were interesting. Since we had no promo to do they just asked about the tour and future plans. They also asked about random things like fan gifts and regular life.

In the group interview Louis and I had sat in front or behind one another. They asked us about the next album and what kind of songs we'd write. They also asked us about tour behind the scenes.

Louis had brought up when we all participated in- mainly started by me, when we bombarded the band with fruit. It started an all out fruit war. Louis had pointed to me and told the host, "He started it all!"

That wasn't breaking the rules that were originally in place, but a little step up. No one made a big deal of it but were happy to see us interacting.

When we got to the interviews of when we split off into groups, the pressure of the whole situation was definitely apparent. This was our one chance to prove to modest that the fans would be supportive.

We had to show this by not acting like we were out and confirmed. We had to act like we had been to see the reaction of the fans of us being together in general.

There was one question about the time on tour when we all crammed into a small van to go tour a certain area. Louis had brought up that Niall had farted in it and I looked to him and had said that it was actually him.

Of course, Louis had denied it, just like he had back then. But it got a smile out of him and a laugh from the interviewer. Overall, the interviews went good.

It's now a week after the interviews and they have been officially released online. The reaction was overwhelming. Louis and I expected support and happiness from the Larries, but not as much as we saw.

Everyone, including non-Larries, were happy to see us doing an interview together. Of course, they argued that we acted like a couple in it or that we didn't.

But other than that, everyone seemed supportive of us and reacted well to it. They were just happy to see us interviewing together. They were happier with our answers and how we interacted as well.

After showing management the reaction on twitter and other social media, we left back to our homes for them to dictate what would happen next.

Immediately when I got home, Louis had Skyped me. I didn't even get a simple "Hi Harry, how are you?" When I first answered. I got an annoyed "Took ya long enough! I've called five times!"

I wouldn't expect anything less from him though.

After he said that I had replied with, "Im fine, thanks for asking."

He just rolled his eyes at me and sighed at me. It's adorable when I manage to frustrate him.

He told me after, "Anyways, I've got news from modest."

I won't lie, my heart skipped a beat. I felt nauseous and nervous at the same time. They decided in the span of thirty minutes?

That didn't feel good or raise any confidence levels. This was a major part of my life- one step I would be taking forward or one shove I'd be taking back. I felt like it should've had more time to decided over.

All I could manage was a nod and I'm sure he noticed my discomfort and nerves. He was silent, playing with his keyboard, looking down.

Now I'll never forget what happened next, never in a million years. It took him at least a full dreadful minute before he cracked the smallest smile I had seen.

But when I noticed the small shift upward in his lips and the crinkle around his eyes begin to form, I knew.

I didn't have to even hear his next words to confirm what I was thinking. I didn't make a noise until he spoke though. Confirmation and just hearing it was another plus to the excitement and happiness that had began to flow through my veins.

His smile broke off into a full grin- one I hadn't seen in awhile, and he looked up to meet my eyes finally. He had tears brimming his eyes and his voice cracked when he finally told me, "They're letting us be together."

My voice cracked as I began to laugh in happiness and just over the situation in general.

Five years. Five years of hiding who we really are just ended. Now we could be who we wanted without worrying about them breathing down our necks and watching our every move.

Louis had laughed too, wiping at his eyes. I asked what made them decide so quickly. He told me that during the week that we waited for the interviews to get released, they were doing research on past events that had happened.

They looked at fan reactions and noticed it was the same as tonight's. He also mentioned they watched their decisions with their rules and decided it was 'overkill'- to quote Louis.

I doubt they put it into those words exactly. But that didn't matter. What mattered was that we were finally free.

Louis informed me he intended to tell the fans and the public through a twitcam in the next few days or so. He wanted to prepare the right way to reveal it. I would be present of course but it was mainly gonna be a twitcam of him.

He pointed out his announcement tweet and said he was gonna tell the fans the announcement would be made on twitcam. He made good on his promise after he ended the Skype chat by tweeting "Twitcam this Friday for the announcement :)"

That was in three days. In three days we wouldn't be in hiding anymore, we'd be open for the world to know.

And it felt good; I felt relieved. All the weight of this secret was about to be lifted of my shoulders. One challenge was ending while another was starting.

This time Louis and I could face it together with the boys and the fans. I was eager and ready for Friday.

"This year, Harry. It's time."

This year, this week, this Friday.

It's time.

Things I Can't:
#27- Believe Modest is letting us free

Love,
H. xx