Things I Can't (Larry Stylinson)

Interview

Dear Diary,

Interviews are always a hoot.

The boys and I always screw around when we're not suppose to and sometimes (or always) we get off track.

It happens. We're boys.

To me, I love interviews. It's a time to clear rumors, give out new information, or make fun of your band mates!

Okay, maybe not the last one so much. Although, if one of us gets the chance to, you better bet your money that it'll happen.

Anyways, it was a two person interview process this time. Since there's five of us, there's a two person group and then the other three go into one interview.

I really wanted to go with Louis, but of course management wouldn't allow that. I didn't even try to sneak over this time. Management was crawling everywhere and if a scene was caused, the interviewers would get suspicious and then they'd put something online regarding it.

And management wouldn't allow that; no drama.

So I went with Niall.

Interviewing with Niall is always a blast because he's always goofing off. Sure, he's serious when he needs to be, but most of the time he's not. If I'm ever in a bad mood, excluding Louis, Niall can always cheer me up.

We were mostly asked about our new album which was released today! So far, from Twitter, the fans love it! It's number #1 in about 37 countries I think right now.

It's honestly so unbelievable how that's possible. I would've never thought that'd happen to us. If you had asked me when I worked at the bakery, if I thought I'd get a #1 album anywhere, I would've told you, you were crazy.

But somehow it's real, and I'm very grateful for it.

Back to the interview, we were asked the normal question if we're single or not. Niall said no, and the guy looked to me.

Usually, I say no too, since the people can't know about me and Louis. But what if I said yes?

That's the thought that held my tongue inside my mouth. I reckon I didn't answer for a good thirty seconds before Niall elbowed me.

I had snapped out of my thoughts and looked to the guy, pain in my eyes. I told him, "Single."

The guy nodded slowly at me and I saw management step up and whisper to the guy. No doubt he was telling him to cut out my short pause. I snuck a look at management when they backed up, the guy asking Niall a question about the tour.

Management was staring at me and I felt tiny under their gaze. I looked away from him and to Niall instead. That didn't help much since I could feel management's eyes on me the whole time.

When the interview finally ended, I was in a foul mood. Nothing to bad but I wasn't happy, that was for sure.

Louis tried to cheer me up but I told him he it was useless. I told him I screwed up in the interview and that I almost told him the truth.

He told me to not worry about it. He told me one day I'll be able to tell everyone.

I hope one day I will be able to. It stinks to have to keep it all in. Sure, our family and band mates know it. Though, it sucks to have to refrain from holding his hand in public.

I would love to tweet him like the old days and I would love to tell people openly about us. I would like to talk about our fun little dates in public with my family and friends.

I would like to go out on dates in the public. I would love to do a lot with Louis but I can't. Sadly, I don't know how long it'll last till I can't take it anymore; till I snap.

Or Louis snaps.

Louis tells me soon it'll be over, but management says it'll keep going on until the band is over. Doing this will keep our image.

Screw the image I say, screw everything. I deserve to be happy with Louis. If the fans can't take us for who we are, then they never deserved us at all.

Well, they did actually. They always will but it'd hurt to see them go away for something like this.

Louis tells me soon he'll set it straight. He said he'll talk to management tonight.

Pray that it goes good because I have an uneasy feeling about it.

Things I Can't:
#9- Tell people about Louis and I

Love,
H. xx