Things I Can't (Larry Stylinson)

New Years

Dear Diary,

New year, new me. Right?

Not really.

Those words Louis told me?

Still not sure what they mean.

So far it's been one hour into the new year and chaos has broken out onto twitter. And you can guess who caused all the drama.

Me.

I stayed in New York after Christmas, as requested by management. I was told to stay till after the new year passed.

I was also requested to go the ball drop with Hayley and do a midnight kiss. It was caught on national TV.

I'm not sure if Louis saw it yet, but the fans did and twitter broke out into a chaotic mess. Larries fought non-Larries and others fought about Hayley in general.

It was a disaster to say the least.

I had taken Hayley back to our hotel in New York, as she was flying back to LA tomorrow and I to the UK. I needed to see Louis after all this.

We hadn't talked face-to-face, no Skype, since he left to fly back home while I stayed. The phone calls were short and sweet, but that feeling still hung in the air.

"Next year, Harry. That's it."

Those words never left my thoughts. It was now next year and all I wanted to do was ask Louis what that meant. But I couldn't bombard him with questions about it.

I wanted it to happen, whatever is what. If it was good, I wanted it to happen on it's own. If I get a bad vibe, I'll interfere.

If Louis had a plan, I didn't want to screw it up. And besides, like I said before, when I get back, it'll be the first time I've seen him face-to-face since the departure.

We still had to talk about our plans for his birthday that I had missed. Every time I'd bring it up on the phone, he'd interrupt me and say, "We'll save it for later."

Just how much later? Those words gave me the same eerie feeling the other ones did. They left an empty space to be filled.

Hopefully, this PR stunt ends soon as all this chaos is happening. Usually we get by it, but it feels different this time. Nothing is different between the girl and I, we usually become friends, but Louis.

He seems different. He's usually upset about it, but he seemed more upset than usual. He also said those words I can't figure out.

Right now, the fans are still at it. They'll be like this for a couple hours until I fly home and they get happy about HQ pictures and me going home. Maybe I'll add in a beanie for them.

When I get home, hopefully this new year will start to bring me good news. Hopefully, next New Years I'll be kissing Louis. It may be a far reach, but a guy can dream can't he?

Toasting to myself tonight with a bottle of water. Had no wine in the hotel and didn't feel like drinking the pain away again. From those words Louis said, I wanna remember everything right now.

There's only way to find out what they mean and it's to see what the this new year has in store for us.

New year, new me? Right?

We'll find out.

Things I Can't:
#23- Kiss Louis for News Years

Love,
H. xx