Katy

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My heartbeat still hammering in my temples I let my eyes wander Calum’s which were watching me with genuine concern. Not, ‘a teacher is watching and if I don’t act like I give a shit I’m going to get in trouble concern’ not, ‘my mom thinks you look pathetic and sent me over here to help you out concern’ real, genuine, caring concern.

“Are you okay?” he asked again probably worrying that my brain was short circuiting since I was just standing there staring at him like an imbecile.

“I-um…ye-no.” I admitted, laughing a little, undoubtedly looking totally insane, “No, I’m not okay. At all.”

Looking surprised, Calum opened as mouth as if he were about to say something then closed it again.

“Do you know what it’s like to be fat?” I questioned, “It’s like… you’re bigger than everyone else, but at the same time you’re smaller. You…. You’re like this oaf this giant, fat, flubby oaf on the outside, but on the inside, you’re small, so small because every day, everyone makes it their personal mission to beat you down until you feel like you’re nothing.”

Looking down, Calum cracked his knuckles then crossed his arms over his chest, then shoved his hands into his pockets.

“I’m sorry.” I muttered, “That just came out. This isn’t therapy this is school I need to keep my mou….”

“You’re not nothing.” Calum interrupted.

“What?’ I questioned.

“You’re not nothing.” He repeated.

Surprised, I opened my mouth to reply when I was cut off by a shout.

“Katy!”

Looking up over Calum’s shoulder I watched as Annie ran towards us.

“Katy!”

“Annie?” Calum said slowly, “What are you doing?”

“I came to make sure Katy is okay.” Annie replied stopping breathlessly infront of us, narrowly avoiding trodding in my vomit, “Are you okay Katy?”

“I’m fine.” I mumbled.

“You’re a good runner Katy.” She said leaning forward and hugging me, “You tried good.”

“Annie what have I said about walking in the parking lot by yourself?” Michael’s voice rang out.

Looking over Annie’s shoulder as she clung to me giving me the most lingering hug in the history of lingering hugs I watched as Michael and Luke jogged across the parking lot over to us.

“What are you guys doing?” Calum asked.

“We’re skipping practice.” Luke announced.

“We wanted to make sure you were okay.” Michael said turning to look at me.

Still hugging Annie I nodded, “I’m fine.”

“Well, we’re going out for ice cream.” Michael replied, shoving his hands into his pockets, “Do you want to come?”

“I can’t.” I said quickly, “I need to get home.”

“Let us drive you home then.” Luke offered.

“Really I’m fine.” I mumbled.

“No let us drive you!” Annie cried pulling away from me, “We can sit in the back seat together!”

“No thank you.” I said slowly, “I should just go home.”

“Do you need a ride?” Calum asked, “You shouldn’t walk all the way home after falling.”

“I’m fine.” I said quickly, “Thank you for the offer but I’m good.”

Sighing in defeat Calum nodded.

“I’m sorry.” I mumbled, “I just… I need to go.”

“It’s fine.” He replied, “I’ll see you around.”

Nodding I offered awkward smiles in Michael and Luke’s directions before shuffling past them and starting the long limp home.

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