Skinny • Book 1 In The Reality Series

Calum

Waking up, I didn’t know why my eyelids refused to obey my command to open. Why my entire body ached, why there was a tremendous amount of pressure on my left collarbone, radiating down my arm, my fingertips tingling.

There was a beeping, but it wasn’t the annoying, constant whine of my alarm clock, it was shorter and more precise. I could tell that there were people around me, watching me, their presence somehow known, and I also knew I wasn’t in my bedroom.

The bed was too hard and the sheet which covered me too thin. It was too cold to be my room and smelled weird, like bleach and soap, latex and hand sanitizer.

Confused I lay struggling, to force my eyes open, before finally they snapped open as if a weight had been lifted. A soft groan leaving my mouth I blinked rapidly, my eyes not accustomed to the harsh light.

“Calum?” a familiar voice said softly.

Squinting because of the light, I turned my head to the side to find my Mom sat in a plastic chair beside the large bed where I lay.

Frowning, I tried to rub my eyes, however when my arm didn’t move I looked down and found the limb in a sling.

It hit me then, what had happened.

I’d been in the car.

I was texting Anna and then it had happened.

All I remembered was Luke’s shout, several collective gasps and a bright light.

“How are you feeling?” my Mom asked gently.

My mind reeling I let my eyes wander from her tennis shoes, to her flannel pajama pants, up to her rain jacket. The clothes of someone who had left the house in the middle of the night.

“We crashed.” I said thickly, my voice cracking from lack of use.

“I know.” She replied shakily, reaching a hand up and brushing my hair back off of my forehead, a simple enough gesture I’d gone years without.

“Where’s Dad?” I asked.

“Talking with the police.” She answered, “He’ll be back soon.”

Nodding I looked around the room, taking in the pale blue walls which I realized were supposed to represent the sky since there was a mural of a farm scene on the opposite wall.

“You don’t know how bad you scared me.” My Mom mumbled suddenly, “I thought I lost you.”

“It’s okay.” I muttered, “You have a replacement.”

As soon as I said it I wished I hadn’t.

“Calum.” She breathed, “That’s a disgusting thing to say, don’t say that.”

“Are they here?” I asked, referring to my step dad and step siblings whom I saw twice a year on December twenty-sixth to celebrate Christmas and on Thanksgiving.

“No.” she sighed, “They’re at home.”

“Of course they are.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, it’s fine.”

“John cares about you.” She informed me, “So do Cat and Austin.”

“Mom I don’t care.” I muttered, “It’s fine.”

“I didn’t want to have to deal with them.” She sighed, “I wanted to be here for you.”

“That’s a first.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean you never come to anything.” I snapped, “You’re always too busy with your new kids and your knew husband and your knew life. What’s going to happen when you get sick of them too?”

“Calum I care about you.” She said slowly, her tone laced with hurt, “Do you know what it was like thinking I lost you? I mean they tell me you get in a car accident and someone’s dead and they won’t tell me wh….”

“What?” I interrupted, my heart dropping down to my stomach.

Closing her eyes my mom looked down at her lap.

“Where are they?” I demanded, “Luke and Michael and Katy.”

“Calum.”

“Where are they?”

Forcing myself up into a sitting position I nearly passed out from the blinding pain radiating from my shoulder and collarbone, however blinking rapidly, I managed to stay conscious.

“Calum lay down.” My mom ordered.

“Where is Michael?” I demanded.

“He’s okay.” She replied, trying to get me to lie back down, “Just a little banged up.”

“Katy?”

“She’s fine.”

Feeling sick I felt my eyes well with tears.

I knew.

I didn’t want to ask.

But I needed to hear it. Needed to know for sure.

“Luke?” I questioned, my voice coming out barely more than a whisper, “Where’s Luke is he okay?”

Her chin wobbling, and her eyes pooling with tears my mom looked up from her lap, her brown eyes locking with mine fleetingly before she hastily looked away again.

“No.” I whispered, “No, no. No…No!”

“Calum.” She mumbled, “I am so sorr….”

“He’s not.” I interrupted “Don’t say that! Don’t even…don’t…no.”

“Cal…”

“You’re lying.”

“Calum…”

“You..you don’t know what you’re talking about right? He…he’s not…no…please no.”

Standing up my mom leaned over and holding her arms out, allowed me to lean into them. Burying my face in my shoulder, hugging her for the first time in years, I tried to wrap my mind around the fact that he was gone.

That the kid I’d known since kindergarten. The boy I’d had my first ever sleep over with, who’s brother had introduced us to the wonders of mature video games and explicit movies. The boy who’s face I’d seen day in and day out for years. His lopsided, dimple cheeked grin, his eyes which crinkled up in the corners when he laughed, his caterpillar like eyebrows which his sisters had tried on numerous occasions to pluck, his lanky frame I could pick out of a crowd, I’d never see any of it again.

“I know it sucks.” My Mom mumbled into my shoulder, “You just….you just cry. I don’t care what your Dad has to say about it, you can cry Calum.”

I could hear my Dad’s voice in the back of my mind, telling me that crying was a sign of weakness, that I should save it for my bedroom, that men don’t cry, but I couldn’t help it. Luke was gone, and so, for the first time in years, I cried.