Skinny • Book 1 In The Reality Series

Calum

"Food is such a weird thing in my opinion. Too much you gain weight, to little you loose it. It's like trying to keep the speedometer exactly on twenty-five the first time you get behind the wheel."

The large, lettuce green room is quiet, the only sounds coming from my mouth, the scratching of Dr. Lowitz's pen and he ticking of puppy shaped clock hanging above the puppy themed calendar  and beside the inspirational puppy poster on the wall.

"I think all of us, at some point in are lives struggle with keeping the scales even. Try and fail to maintain a perfect balance between healthy and un."

Dr. Lowitz cocks her head to the side, waiting for me to continue.

"I thought that I was in control." I continued, "But I wasn't. I either hate food or am totally obsessed with it, there's no in between. I would not eat then binge then starve then eat way too much until finally I just stopped eating all together."

"And how was that?"

"Awful."

"Do you regret it?"

"Yes."

"How are you feeling now?"

Licking my chapped lips I play with my bony fingertips, "Like I'm going to be okay."

"I think so too."

I look down at the binder which contained the diet I was supposed to follow.

"You promise I won't get fat?"

"I pinky promise. I'm not hear to make you fat, I'm here to make you healthy. But we can't do that until you're healthy up there."

She tapped her temple with her pen, "How do you feel up there?"

I hesitate.

"You can tell me Calum."

"I feel scared."

"Understandable."

"And sad."

"To be leaving me?"

I smirked, "sure."

"You'll start feeling better when you start taking care of yourself." She said gently, "but you've been doing well. Is there any positive emotion you're feeling at the moment?"

I thought for a moment, "Hopeful."

"You feel hopeful?"

I nodded.

"Why?"

My mind wandered to my Dad, my Mom and Anna. To Katy and Michael, Sierra and even Bethany.

"Because I have a lot to live for."

"Yes you do."

Smiling, she scribbles her signature on a pink piece of paper and hands it to me, "I hope you were being sincere Calum, I trust you. You're going home."

I'm sorry it's been forever. Xx

I know this update was short but things are winding down.