AVALON

Because...

A/N - sorry about the ridiculously long wait guys...uni is back although I couldnt keep up and dropped one unit. Also sold two of my critters so was a bit emotional and then another got  hurt.  

AVALON POV

Once the small camp I had threw together before I had 'broken' Noah out of the holding cells comes in to view, I kind of get to wondering what the hell I was thinking setting it up like I did.

It seemed a good idea at the time just to throw up one tent. Admittedly time wasn't on my side but how in the world did I forget his aversion to human closeness?

I've done what Nathan says I always do, get so excited over plans the little details just slip through my mind like cattle through a shoot. I'm glad for once he isn't here to rub it in.

I decide not to turn and study his reaction as I ask Amber to a halt. If I see the despair or... or... that hard coldness that tunes everything out on his face I will... feel as bad as the pain radiating from my side. Or bloody annoyed. Most likely annoyed. I just know I'll hark up.

Through out the ride, actually the whole time I've been hyper-aware of him. It didn't matter that Noah didn't talk much after he thanked me, I don't think because he didn't want to but because he was too busy trying to stay on Peanut. So I'm not totally sure how he feels about the situation now, whether the initial excitement has worn off or whatever but I do know in the last few minutes he's changed. I personally was so damn excited I nearly screamed hysterically when the cops said yes to my plan. They had to settle for a flying hug, otherwise Noah would have definitely heard the victorious shriek I wanted to let loose. Harry had certainly covered his ears in readiness.

Peanut, on the otherhand was the epitome of 'bombproof' and serene on the way here, very well behaved following sedately behind Amber like a trooper. So he was the right choice, not that I had much of a choice of suitable horses. Cherokee would have been the choice if it were Nathan in jail. But not for anyone else. Peanut's such a nice wiling boy and has a rocking horse canter - for guys - I  cantered once Noah got the hang of the walk, it's way easier to sit to than a trot. I kind of had to put on the pace once we got out of the suburbian landscape, not to keep up the illusion we were really on the run but to get up here before nightfall. If I were at home night wouldn't worry me but the terrain here is very unfamiliar. Very different. 

I hear Peanut stop behind me, but I still can't shift my gaze to Noah. What if he sees me freaking out then I cause him to think of what I'm freaking out about and then he freaks. Or worse... what if I look too happy about the camping situation? What if he thinks my whole plan was to get him here. Alone. I have the sudden insane urge to sing, 'I think we're alone now. Doesn't seem to be anyone around' just to see how he will react. Hopefully he won't pitch himself off the cliff.

What if he sees that... I can't stop thinking of him. Haven't been able to stop thinking of him since the 'fear letting' night.

This should probably be the time I scrutinise my whole planning strategies, reflect on my choices like Angus always tries to get me to do, but really... that's not me. Dad said that straight up to Angus when he found Angus trying to teach me 'reflection' something about some guy's heirachy to become a self assessing human. I had no one idea what he was talking about, Angus reads way too much, or listens to talking books too much. Either way he's always trying to self improve everyone. I'm happy just the way I am.

Dad had watched for a full five seconds before falling off the hay bale in hysterics, holding his stomach and rolling around. Angus ending up sitting on him to shut him up. But dad was right, I'll get to where I get when I get there, because you have to learn from experience, someone telling you means nothing until it affects you in your everyday life.