AVALON

Chapter 41 - Toddler

OKAY the whole private thing failed as you guys didn't receive notice about updates... so I'm back to public again. Thanks for helping out (This chapter has been reposted as public!)

Thank you so much for all your support! I really apprecite how much you guys have come to love Avalon!

This chapter is the beginning of the camp and the foundation for a talk about Avalon's 'choices' with D down the road... hope you enjoy it... even though some chapter may seem boring I use them to plant clues and seeds for things that will happen down the track. I wish i could do all exciting things every chapter but it wouldnt be realistic then :D

(AVALON POV)

Looking down at my phone I take a deep breathe and try to be ready enough to fake Nathan out. If I do it will be an achievement I will never forget. Today his absence just seemed all the more real, sometimes if I don't think about it and concentrate on the moment I'm alright, the pain doesn't cripple me. Lately we have been both skirting around it, ignoring it as something we knew we were going to feel.

Bu today... today was harder than usual, the bailer reminded me of Frank and I just missed Nathan's company so much, he's always been there, no matter what I do and today just made him seem light years away. It's so hard to call him when I can't talk to him about what I'm really feeling because I'm used to telling him everything and now... being here I can't because he will come and then... then it will all be for nothing. Mum will ruin our family. I have to be tough. Pop told me the best way to get through the hard things is to remember something recent that made you smile. That made you be glad you were alive.

Focusing on Amber and how good it felt to ride her wildly through the scrub, I can't help but smile thinking of the way her ears flicked back and forth, the way she got the tension on the rope just perfectly when I roped the bailer. The way her legs seemed to blur across the ground as she flew like a pegasus over the long the grass as I looked down to watch them stride out underneath us. The way she flew over the fallen logs. The smell of her velvety skin when I press my face against her neck and the silky coarseness of her mane as I run my fingers through it. The feel of those long whiskers on her chin prickling my face when she nuzzles me. The way she ripped Noah's shorts off for the green frog lollies.

I suppress my chuckles, it's the best I'm gonna be, I press call with Noah's bare butt in my mind.

"Slug guts!" As soon as Nathan's voice hits my ear, almost all of my resolve crumbles. Why? Because he is hiding it as well. I can hear the crumbles around the edges of his words, just as he will hear it in mine. We both are feeling the pain and I never want any of my brother's feeling pain but Nathan more than anyone of them. I take a deep breathe and think of Noah's bum.

"Hey chewed up horse ball brains! Just wanted to ring you before I'm incarcerated into the school camp environment!" I chuckle.

"What's wrong?" As I said Nat can read me like a book even when I'm not visible.

"Nothin' I'm just missing you and Frank a bit more than usual,' I mumble and glance up into the rear view mirror to find two blue eyes watching me. I give Seth a quick smile and look out the window.

Nathan sighs and I hear so much in that sound. "I miss you too, Lonnie. Was it her? I'll fricken kill her." Nathan asks and I can hear someone shouting something, they sound like they are in a drum.

"Are you at a bore?" I wonder out loud and secretly wonder if Angus is trying to distance Nathan from him because Nathan hates working on the bore stuff. 

The growl confirms it. Angus must be getting wary. God I wish I was there, if Angus thinks he can manhandle Nat... he will soon learn that is a huge mistake. I make a mental note to ring Dell and get her to puppy dog Angus to let Nathan go out with Murphy for awhile. . Angus is a good manager apart from anything to do with Nathan, I mean they get on but he just doesn't... understand Nathan like me and Pop do. Doing this will only exacerbate the agro side of Nat.