The Pain You Bring

17 | 𝐓𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭

I stand there in total shock. I know for a fact my mouth is wide open.

"You brought me up here," I say as I twirl my finger around in the air, "for a picnic?"

He nods his head as he sits down and grabs things out of his bag, "I even brought us food," he says.

"Are we staying here all night?" I ask as I sit down in front of him.

"Only if you wants us to."

He grabs out two red solo cups and pours apple juice in them.

I give him a weird look and he frowns, "they didn't have anything else at the market I go to," he says. His face looks annoyed in such an adorable way and I can't hide my smile.

I laugh as I sip on the juice. More snacks like crackers, chocolate, and other food is emptied from the bag onto the blanket.

"So, I want to know everything about you," Carter says to me as he opens a box of Cheez-Its, "problems, good things, bad things. Lay it all out."

I pause my sipping, "why?"

"Because," he says, "there's more to you than what you tell me and I think I'm not buying it."

I roll my eyes at him. The small light on the building reflects off his face and I make out a smile on his face.

I turn to him, "and what if I don't feel comfortable sharing these things?"

He gives me a knowing look, "Mandy, if you didn't, you wouldn't be sitting on top of a skyscraper with me right now."

Good point.

"Fine." I tease, "I didn't think you'd want to know things about me so badly."

"You'd be surprised on the things I'd like to know about you."

He puts some chips into his mouth, some dust getting on his lips and making me slightly smile. "Let's start with your past. Tell me about it."

I contemplate leaving him up here to freeze but then I realize how much effort he's put in for me. How badly he truly wants to know me, and I decide to let it all out.

For the first time with any person, I tell him everything.

"Okay," I start, "I grew up in a smaller town in Colorado with a single mother and myself. I've never known my dad, never even seen what he looks like." I look down at my cup, tracing my finger around to distract myself.

"My mother refuses to talk about him, even to this day."

He stays silent and I can see him surveying me out of the corner of my eye.

"My mom got knocked up at eighteen, had me, and did part time college courses for nursing when I was little. Since she worked in the medical field, I barely ever saw her. We've never had that good of a relationship."

He cocks his head to the side, "why is that?"

"She treated me like shit my entire teenage years," I confess as I take a sip of my juice. "It was always being nice one second and making my life hell another. She still contradicts everything. I can't ever win with her."

Carter nods his head in understanding.

"I became a closed off and rude person sometimes." I pause, finding the words difficult to form. Maybe because it's the truth.

"Mostly because that's how I was treated. I never had a voice in my home. Never really had an opinion."

He stays still and when I look up and meet his eyes, his expression is sad. Sad in a way where he finally connects the dots.