The Pain You Bring

33 | 𝐌𝐲 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭

Carter

Mandy spent today showing me around her hometown. I figured it would be a good distraction for her too.

Now, she has a bag of boutique clothing and is holding a warm coffee, curtesy of me.

"Christmas is tomorrow," I say. I hope she'll like what I've gotten her. It's simplistic, like her style.

"What did you get me?" she beams up at me. I smile back, "not telling you."

She rolls her eyes but looks at me again, "I'm sorry I kept you away from your family this year."

I stop walking. Her black beanie has snow on it and her face is slightly red from the cold, "what?" I ask.

"You could've gone to L.A."

I shake my head, "babe, my grandparents don't mind. They're old anyway, but eventually I'd like you to meet them. We're just busy right now."

"I guess," she pauses, sipping her drink, "I just feel bad that's all."

"Don't," I reassure.

"What are you going to do about your mom?" I ask. I know she hates this topic, but it needs to be discussed and action needs to be taken. She can't hate her mother forever.

"Nothing," Mandy shrugs.

"What do you mean nothing?"

"I mean nothing. There is nothing to do."

I scoff and roll my eyes, "come on, yes there is."

"I don't understand why we need to talk about this right now," she snips.

"Because we have to, Mandy," I add.

"No. We don't," she finalizes her opinion.

"Amanda. Your mother cares about you and loves you more than you can comprehend. You both just need to talk this out thats all," I say. I only mean the best. I've had confrontation with my family for half of my life and it's horrible. It's draining. I don't want that for either one of them.

"Carter just stop," she halts her walking. I stop too and turn to look at her. She looks pissed.

"I'm only telling you the truth because I love you," I admit. She nods with a sigh, "I get that but this is my problem, not yours."

I flinch, "I thought we could work through this together," I say but it comes out as more of a question.

Her brown eyes shift and I can tell her walls are building up again. No, Mandy. Come on.

"Why do you have to butt in, Carter? I have this handled."

"When will that be?" I ask, "ten years? twenty?"

Her beautiful face turns into a scowl, "just leave the topic alone."

"I'm here to work through this with you. You have to talk through shit with her now or else you'll never get anywhere."

"Oh and you're the person to talk?" She snips.

I flinch again, but this time, something in my chest actually stings.

She closes her eyes in realization of her remark, "Carter," she says, regretfully.

"It's fine," I whisper.

"No it's not. That was fucked up," she shakes her head.

"It's okay," I assure. "I'm going to grab an Uber and go somewhere to get work done."