The Pain You Bring

31 | 𝐓𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞

Carter and my mother have gotten along.

So far.

She's been fairly calm about asking him questions. He told her about his studies at NYU including his interest in medicine.
I can tell she really enjoys his company and maybe even their conversations.

She's tossing a salad as she looks to me.

"So," she sighs, "you guys like each other?"

Carter and I exchange glances before I inhale a deep breath. "Yeah. You could say that," I say.

My mother pauses her actions. Her brown eyes are fogged with something I can't decipher.

" Are you in love?" She asks. She looks to Carter this time. He only nods with a small smile.

I try to hide my blush as I sip my water but I know he can already see it.

"Well," my mother says, "Amanda certainly never told me that detail."

I stay silent. No, I never told her anything. Because I had every right to privacy in my life now that I am a grown woman.

"Excuse me," I say. I walk over to the familiar powder room before shutting and locking the door. I begin to shake.

I can tell she's annoyed. Annoyed that I've suddenly involved myself with a guy.

This was such a mistake.

A knock comes from the other side of the door, "Mandy?" Carters voice says.

"I'm fine," I say loud enough he'll hear me through the wood. "Dinners ready," he informs me.

Great. Dinner. Sitting down and eating an awkward meal.

I open the door, only to meet Carter's tall figure.

I look up to see him smile down at me, "baby, you're okay."

I nod as I take a deep breath. Carter laces his hand through mine and we walk out of the hallway to greet my mother who is placing the food on the table.

Carter sits next to me with my mother at the head of the table, next to me.

I place the napkin on my lap, Carters napkin already on his, and feel the anxiety seep in. Come on, Mandy. You got this. Keep it cool.

"How is school for you guys?" My mother asks as she serves herself mashed potato's. I sip my water, "good."

"Good?" her hazel eyes meet mine, "it's fifty-thousand dollars a year I certainly hope it's good."

I cough on my water. College is expensive. My mother started saving a little bit of money for me early and eventually I got my own job and saved up money and also applied for scholarships. Those helped big time.

But my mother being so open about the cost is somewhat embarrassing. I don't know why, considering Carter wouldn't care, but it still bothers me. Money isn't something I just state out in the open.

"Yes, mom," I reply, "it's very good."

"How's school work?"

I hold back a deep and long eye roll. She wants to talk to me about school right now? I haven't seen her in a year and she'd rather know about school. Not my mental health? or my friends?

Carter stays silent as he cuts into his grilled chicken. His eyes furrow in concentration of cutting it right. It takes every bone in my body to not to cup his face and kiss him.

"It's good," I curtly say.

"Why are you being so short with me?" my mother asks. She's going to play the victim now?