evolve// 5SOS

5

Gabi

"How the fuck does this game work?"

"You've gotta grow crops and become friends with everyone,"

"What is this called again?"

"Stardew Valley,"

"Huh. Why does it say single?"

"You can marry them. I'm marrying Abigail so get in line,"

"Awh, she looks like me," Maddox said, smiling at me through the screen, "I'm not good at this, can't we play mario?"

"Fine, also she does not look like you, she literally has purple hair,"

I froze as I heard dad get up to go to the bathroom, sliding under my duvet and hiding everything underneath. Dad always checked on me if he woke up, he said it's a sign to check on me.

To which I replied that it was just a sign he needed to piss. Of course that was the answer that made no sense.

I heard him open my door and then he made his way to the curtains to close them. Then, he placed a kiss in my head, before whispering go to sleep.

He caught me out.

I didn't want him to win, so I kept up my act, but clearly that's not what he wanted so he pulled my duvet back.

"Hi Maddox, you can come over and play games whenever, but calling at 1am is not a good idea when Gabi should be sleeping. She's gonna go now but she's pretending to sleep,"

"Sorry Mr Hemmings. Goodnight Gabi,"

He threw my phone back on the bed and I pushed him back, sitting up in anger; through the dark I could see him cower slightly.

"I hope that's just because you're tired," he said sternly.

"You ruin everything. I'm 17, why can't I call with my friends late on one Saturday night?"

"We have a routine and I'd like to stick to that,"

"You don't let me have a life," I whined, "When was the last time I stayed up so late?"

"Hopefully not for a while,"

"I feel better. I am having a good day,"

"First of all you had a nap earlier, second of all we both know you tend to have good days before crashing again to bad days. We need to keep is consistent so it's routine,"

"It is one night. I was actually happy,"

"So happy up at 1am with Maddox but you refuse to invite her over at suitable times in the day? I am not arguing, Gabi, just go to sleep,"

"But now you're mad,"

"Yeah, I am, Gabi, but we will talk about it in the morning when I have actually slept,"

"I can't sleep when you're mad,"

"Then maybe you should have slept earlier,"

He kissed my head again and then decided to take my switch and phone with him, so I laid on my side and sighed.

Dad could get in equally as bad a mood as I got into, but he rarely took it out on me. I shouldn't have pushed him either, but I really wanted to talk to Maddox. It was easier over call.

In the end, I managed to sleep for a bit, but it was useless.

"Dad,"

"What?"

"I can't sleep,"

"Neither can I, now,"

"I'm serious. I can't sleep and I feel like shit,"

He sighed and pulled out a bottle of sleeping gummies, putting two in his hand. I took one, he took one, then I climbed into his bed and he hugged me.

That wasn't me forgiven, but he was big enough of a person to put it aside right now.

**

"Good morning,"

How dad was always up before me, I never knew. There wasn't a single day for at least the last three months where he hadn't woken me up with breakfast.

"I just wanna get this chat over with,"

I sat up and took the plate, silently eating my toast.

"I know you feel like I am controlling, and in some ways I can be, and I am working on that. I am your biggest supporter for everything, Gabi, but when it comes to your health I am not putting up with crap like this. It's irresponsible, and quite frankly it really pisses me off because sometimes I feel like I care so much more than you,"

"It is one night. I am 17, dad, I can't let this control my life!"

"I know you're 17, but one day you'll realise just how young that is,"

"But right now its the oldest I have been and I respectfully don't care right now what 40 year old me will be saying,"

"There will be no 40 year old you if you keep going this way,"

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed,"

"I did actually, you were laid there,"

"If you hate me so much then just send me to board at school,"

"Don't hit me with the 'if you hate me so much' lines, young lady,"

"Why is this riling you up so much? You're never this mad? What's changed?"

"Nothing, I'm just... I want you to be safe and healthy. Please just promise you will sleep normally from now on,"

"I promise,"

"Now uncross your fingers,"

"I promise,"

"I'm sorry I lashed out," he said, holding me tightly, "You're just my,"

"Little girl. I know. Sorry for pushing you, it was wrong of me,"

"It's okay,"

"I love you," I said.

"I love you too,"

"I'm not feeling the hike,"

"Me neither, let's ditch it. There's always yoga if we want,"

"Which I don't,"

"I'm allowed to do things too, you know?"

"Nope,"

"Don't push your luck. I will see you in a bit, I'm off to stress bake,"

"But that's what I was gonna do!" I whined, "Where is my phone?"

"You get that back later,"

"Are you kidding?"

"No. Do something productive,"

"Fuck you,"

I slid back under the duvet and tried hard to fight tears- I wasn't a crier, and certainly didn't waste tears on something as pathetic as this.

Honestly, I didn't know why I was keeping this up, for he was right. Staying up at night didn't make me feel great the next day, and I did it more often than I should, but I hated him always telling me what to do.

And he never got this mad about my health which freaked me out- I felt like he knew something that I didn't.