Until I Find You

Chapter 33: Closer!?

Tiana

"Hey, I know what Stefani said and I just wanted to let you know, I do like you Tiana, but I am scared you will leave me for someone who is more deserving of you," Anurak wistfully expresses. Is he playing a game?

"Anurak, that's the thing with love, to love someone is to take a leap of faith. Loving someone is giving them a gun to your heart and trusting they do not pull the trigger. Trusting someone is giving a piece of yourself to them, it's giving them a knife to your back and hoping they do not stab you in the back. Almost everything in life is taking a leap of faith, trusting the universe or God or whoever you believe in that everything will work out in time. Love is a leap of faith. It is giving someone one of the most vital organs and hoping they give you, theirs in return," I preach, Anurak sits beside me, he crosses his legs. I make eye contact with him. His hazel eyes look into my eyes, his eyes look like a constellation of stars is being held in his eyes; the brown and green blend together, looking completely natural and beautiful. I can look into those eyes for eternity. They seem to hold the opening to Anurak's soul. Something my heart would love to understand him, and my brain would love to understand why we like him or why my heart wants him.

"You have always been the deep type of friend," Anurak remarks, a low and dangerous laugh leaves his lips, making me eternally smile at myself. Did he just refer to me as a friend? A friend. Who friends' zones someone they like?

"What is your idea of the ideal girlfriend?" I blurt out, getting his attention.

"Someone smart, funny and will call me out on my shit," he answers, his eyes light up with sparks.

"Out of curiosity would you ever take someone back after they have cheated?" Anurak questions as he lays his hand on my knee, moving his thumb in a circular motion.

"No, they cheated, whether it was under the influence or not. See drunk actions and words are sober thoughts. If they we not under the influence still no," I answer, "What is your ideal perfect date?"

"Mhmm, that's kind of hard. I normally do sixty-nine not dine. Probably movies, arcade and then maybe to my favourite restaurant. What about you?" he states.

"I agree with everything you said but then add stargazing, so we can talk and get to know each other, you know," I answer he nods his head, "What do you think is your best feature?"

"Probably my hair," he answers, "Would you kiss a guy on the first date?"

"Yes and no, the atmosphere has to be right and depends how much I like the dude," I reply, "At what point do you let your guard down in a relationship?"

"Probably after they have proven I can trust them," he states, "Would you rather a good morning or good night text from your partner?"

"I would like both but knowing me I would send both to them," I snicker, "Three words to describe yourself."

"Handsome, charming and brains," he replies, "What rules would you have for your partner?"

"Once every two weeks, I get about an hour of their time. Once a month I get a day of their time. Once a year, I get a week of their time. If we have children, no fighting in front of them about anything, because they might feel like a burden to my partner and me," I reply, "Do you prefer staying in or going out?"

"Staying in and being comfortable. Would you rather let your partner date your best friend or enemy?" he quizzes.

"Enemy because then I have a reason to hate them more. Would you rather have a jealous but hardworking girlfriend or lazy but trusting girlfriend?" I ask, waiting for his answer. He looks me in the eyes, his eyebrow-raising and lips coming together to form a thin line.

"Jealous but hard-working because if she is jealous then I can show her off more often to the girls that like me. Also, she will probably be cute when she is jealous. What is the worst and best pick up line you have ever heard?" he interrogates, my lips curl upwards forming a smile while I feel my pupils from my eyes expand.

"Worst pick up line is hello I am a thief, and I am here to steal your heart. Best pickup lines are, if I told you, you had a gorgeous body, would you hold it against me or you have that damn gorgeous body for the rest of your life, can I have it for one night. What does a girl do to get your attention?" I reply.

"Honestly a lot of girls get my attention but hardly any actually keep my attention. That is if I am being honest, but it is always the feisty, stubborn and the ones that do not let me get my way or just look deeper than my looks that can hold my attention for a few minutes or even hours, but no one has ever captured my attention longer than that. It gets lonely because girls will want to date me or use me, but it is more like they want me for my looks or my father's money rather than the actual me. What type of love are you into?" Anurak asks, moving closer towards me.

"Honestly, I remember when I was up in North India, I met my really close friend and he had stated, if you feel butterflies and weak in the knees for someone, leave them, find someone who calms you down and makes you feel at home when you are with them. I never understood that hell I do not understand it fully but right now I understand it a little better than I understood it when he had said it but I think I want that type of love. What about you, you know the type of love you want?" I query.

"Probably, the playful but also mature love if that makes sense," he states looking directly in my eyes, I give him a puzzled look, "Like we can be playful with each other, and the love matures as we grow." I nod my head at his explanation. He pulls out lip ice and applies it to his lips.

"We should probably head back to our dorm before one of the councillors find out that we are not sleeping," he states, getting up to his feet. He puts out a hand for me to take.

What a gentleman.

I push his hand away with my right hand. Applying pressure to my right knee, as I get up. I look up to his reaction and see him clenching his jaw. His eyes have the normal annoyance in them from when I mock or insult him.

"You really are stubborn?" he asks a rhetorical question. I just smile at him, sweetly making me look innocent.

He takes my right hand in his and starts walking towards the main hall.

Until he stops dead in his tracks. He has something in his left hand. It looks like his lip ice. He lets go of my hand, brings it to whatever he has in his hand up towards him. Something does not feel right.

My instincts say run but he opened up so I should stay? It is the right thing to do, right? Yes, I should Ignore my instincts, they have to be wrong. Anurak would never do anything to me, right? Right? He could be working with Stefani and Amber. I should probably run.

Being too stuck in my thoughts to realize, Anurak had opened the small container. I look at him confused before he swiftly brings it up to my nose. His hand goes rapidly to the back of my head preventing me from moving. It was too late for me to run. I try grabbing his hand without inhaling whatever was in the small container. But trying to hold my breath and fight is not a good combination. He is also stronger than me which isn't surprising from how many hours a day he is at the gym. I try to quickly inhale some air to help me twist his arm around, but I had already inhaled whatever was in the container. My eyes get heavy, and my body starts to feel weak. I start feeling like I have those bad migraines where I need sleep to help it go away.

I am so dumb, why did I trust him? I was right, he was using me, but I had the reasoning wrong.

My eyes start to feel heavier: I try fighting the sleepy feeling but it was too strong.