Lunar Chronicles Comms

Jacin, Thorne, Iko

HandsomeHero: Um... so. How's your relationship with Winter going?

JacinTheGuard: It's not... going.

HandsomeHero: That's awkward.

JacinTheGuard: I know-it is! But I don't know what else to do!

HandsomeHero: You make a move.

JacinTheGuard: Are you kidding? No way!

HandsomeHero: Why not?

JacinTheGuard: Don't be an idiot. Any more than you already are, I mean.

HandsomeHero: What's wrong? Don't be such a Thornemy...

JacinTheGuard: Um.. What?

HandsomeHero: A Thornemy. Someone who's mean to me, basically.

JacinTheGuard: Um. I don't... I give up. Anyways, what can I do?

HandsomeHero: Well.......

JacinTheGuard: What?

HandsomeHero: There is SOMETHING...

JacinTheGuard: What?????

HandsomeHero: That could change your life forever...

JacinTheGuard: WHAT.

HandsomeHero: You could just buy a Thorne!

HandsomeHero: *looks around for positive reaction*

JacinTheGuard: I don't... What?

HandsomeHero: Well, Thornes can do anything I can, right? So any time you need anything-a comforting lecture, a commentator, anything.... A Thorne will be there to help.

JacinTheGuard: I am so outraged I can't even... What?

HandsomeHero: 50% of all Thornes! JUST FOR TODAY.

JacinTheGuard: Why do you think ANYONE would even CONSIDER that deal?

IKO: I would!

JacinTheGuard: REEALLLY?

HandsomeHero: Really?

HandsomeHero: I mean- uh huh. Understandable. But I must warn you...

JacinTheGuard: Here comes the catch...

HandsomeHero: I'll take twenty percent off your 50 percent! It's universal Thorne Day!

IKO: OMS REALLY?

JacinTheGuard: OMS NO.

HandsomeHero: OMS YES!

IKO: Help me I think I'm fainting!!!!!!! This is too good to be true!

HandsomeHero: Well, I kind of had to do a sale like this at some point. Because no one has purchased any Thornes yet.

IKO: Reallly?????

JacinTheGuard: It's hard being you, Earthen. It's hard being you. *pats Thorne on the back*

HandsomeHero: *bows head sadly* But now I've got a customer! And I know IKO will know a beneficial deal when she sees it!

IKO: I already did! I'll take fifty Thornes, pronto!

HandsomeHero: Coming your way!

HandsomeHero: It's arriving!

IKO: I can't wait!

HandsomeHero: Urgh... the ship is experiencing traffic.

IKO: Let's talk about something else while we wait!

HandsomeHero: Okay! Who do you like, Iko?

JacinTheGuard: Ugh. I'm leaving now.

IKO: Why, Jacin? It's not like no one knows who you like, you're not in danger of being teased.

HandsomeHero: Yeah, everyone knows Jacin and Winter is a satellite that is approved. Even though you guys are having problems.... haha. No offense, but my relationship with Cress is going by faster than yours..

JacinTheGuard: *turns red* You were saying, Iko?

IKO: Well, Thorne's actions aren't my responsibility. And, Jacin, if you are feeling stressed about your relationship, I recommend you come to my spa sessions every Wednesday. They offer relaxing talks, ice cream, and the old classic movie archive, Netflix.

HandsomeHero: I don't think that would really help for Jacin, but nice try, Iko.

IKO: I know...... my spa sessions are more of a girl thing, really. I have mani-pedis available, though!

HandsomeHero: *cough, cough* Anyway, Jacin, you should just buy a Thorne, like I said.

IKO: Good idea. But rainbows are also nice. Oooh, you should buy a rainbow Thorne!!!!
JacinTheGuard: Please stop with your shows of stupidity.
IKO: We're just trying to help!
JacinTheGuard: Well, it's not succeeding! Will you two just stop? I can take care of my own relationship!
HandsomeHero: Ya sure about that?
JacinTheGuard has logged out of the comm.
IKO: So...
IKO: Um...
IKO: Have the Thornes arrived yet?
HandsomeHero: Calm down.
HandsomeHero: They're here.
IKO: Thanks!
IKO: Hold on- why am I charged more than I was promised???
HandsomeHero: Huh? No, the calculations are all correct. I checked them myself.
IKO: Well, you said 20% off 50%.... Even I know that this isn't it.
HandsomeHero: Learn from the master... What is 50-20?
IKO: 30.
HandsomeHero: right. So you only get 30% off. Because I took away 20 of that 50.
IKO: It doesn't work like that!
HandsomeHero: It does!!!
IKO: I don't want the Thornes anymore!!!
HandsomeHero: *sniffs* suit yourself. Let this be a lesson to you....
IKO has logged out of the comm.