Faye was either talking about something that didn't really make sense, Evie was laughing at instagram reels or ranting to Fez about things he could never actually understand due to the fact she got distracted almost always and talked about other things, before continuing.
or the tv that was in the living room was on and playing a movie.
Evie felt like the house was silent. that tv that she had never seen turned off, was off. the house felt cold and empty.
although it wasn't. the house was filled with her friends, and the little people who knew Ashtray.
she had on one of Ashtrays hoodies that he would wear most, and hugged it close to her body as she held her knees close to her chest.
it still smelt like weed and his cologne that she thought smelt amazing, but she had never actually told him that.
she sat on the couch, her body slightly slumped as she stared at the framed pictures of Ashtray in front of her.
Fezco and Rue were giving a speech for him. they had asked Evie to, as well, but she didn't think she could. a part of her still didn't want to except it, and for that reason alone, she wouldn't.
she listened to everything they said, and how they described Ashtray.
she never looked away from the pictures, tuning out what they were saying occasionally as her mind traveled to the many times she spent next to him on the couch she was sitting on currently.
her heart was physically hurting. her stomach would turn anytime she heard Rue or Fezco talk about the boy in pass tense.
Evie didn't want to except the fact that he was no longer her.
she couldn't grasp the fact that she would no longer be able to tell him everything that happened to her.
she wouldn't be able to roll her eyes and blush everytime he complimented her.
she wouldn't be able to hear him call her the nicknames she secretly loved.
he wouldn't be able to give her anymore tattoos like he had promised he would.
how she would now only be able to smell him whenever she wore one of his hoodies, or laid in his bed.
summer was just beginning, Evies favorite season. and they weren't going to be able to do any of things they had planned.
there was so many things.
How was she supposed to move on without the boy she loves right beside her?
how was it fair that she was now going to have to miss him longer than she ever knew him?
Evie felt someone sit next to her, before feeling them wrap their arm around her. she glanced to see Fezco, and slowly placed her head on his shoulder.
the two sat in silence for awhile, both of them staring at the pictures in front of them.
"you know, kid—" Fezco softly spoke up, letting out a shaky breath. "Ash didn't ever show how he felt."
"he wasn't good at expressing how he felt, or whatever."
"he didn't have to, though. he showed it better than he could ever say it."
"the way he looked out for me always, helped me.."
"i don't know if he ever said it to you, but i know he loved you."
Evie bit onto her lip, letting out a breath as she only listened to him speak.
"you were all he ever talked about." Fezco continued.
"he worried about you all the time. didn't like you be home alone."
"he doesn't like being around people. you know that. he wasnt a people's person."
"but he always wanted you around. even when he acted annoyed."
Evie softly chuckled, sniffling.
"i mean, he would never get me no matching bracelet." he spoke, pointing down to the bracelet that laid on her wrist.
"he would've never went to no dance for anyone else."
"or gotten anyone else flowers, and took them on a little fancy date."
"he didn't have to say it, i know he did." Fezco finished, gently rubbing Evies arm.
Evie let felt a tear run down her face, her throat feeling tighter. "i love him." she whispered.
Ashtray and Evies relationship was something Fezco had always adored. no matter how many times Ashtray had tried to deny it at first, Fezco knew he felt something for the girl. and it wasn't much of a surprise to him when they started hanging out more.
he knew they felt real love for each other.
Fezco continued to rub her arm, his chest feeling tight as he stared at the pictures of his brother. it mattered to Fezco that Ashtray wasn't actually related to him at all. he was his brother, always.
Fezco practically raised him. Ashtray became his best friend and his business partner.
Evie let out a small sigh, "i miss him."
"me too, kid. me too." Fezco nodded.
Evie thought about how she had felt like they were so different for so long. how she had thought their differences would make them not be able to become something. and how they had actually became really alike, in the span of a couple months.
now the only difference between the two was life and death.
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AND THATS A WRAP X8 GUYS IM SO SORRY TO DO THIS TO YALL AGAINNNNNN BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOYED! thank you guys sm for reading, voting and commenting!! i seriously appreciate y'all.
