occasional sex nights 3 (requested)

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your finger scrolled down on its own, you being absentminded to what was displaying on your phone. absentminded and just plainly staring nowhere as you had already seen c/n's posts and photos of him with different girls on his isnta page countless of times before.

you envied him.

how could he be fine?

as if it wasn't enough that he had just rejected you so harshly - did he had to mock you in the face by showing how unbothered he was by the situation? by showing how quickly he found a replacement?

or maybe he always had all those other girls while you were still sleeping with each other too. he just never told you, lied about having no one.

you also envied those girls.

because as much as had c/n hurt you, you still had feelings for him. you didn't know how to make yourself stop feeling it. you only knew how to make yourself feel even worse by spying on your lost crush.

no.

this is so wrong.

i should go out and show him that he cannot make me feel so powerless and miserable. he doesn't have so much control over me.

a spark of determination flared up in your chest, a new breath of freshness. a surety vibrated throughout your body, certainty of knowing you can move on.

but then you looked over into the mirror.

you saw your reflection.

pitiful.

then your eyes flew back to c/n's post from two days ago, a photo featuring him and a girl whom he held by the waist.

and the spark had died once again as doubts filled you. could you really move on? did you even want to try?

the better part of you knew you did. but you also knew it would require some effort from your part - and for that, you were still too lazy, with too little energy.

well, i could start with stopping to spy on his media, you thought. turning off your phone, you set it down on the table and began to finally work on the assignment you had been putting off for so long already.

~~~

you had c/n blocked on all your social media. you had his number deleted. all his photos thrown away. all memories of him forgotten.

instead, you began to focus on your studies much more. you immersed yourself in work, leaving no time for thoughts of c/n to ever occur in your mind.

gradually, he didn't even try to enter your mind anymore. all of his that was still in you was left to collect dust. you never traveled back to him in your thoughts.

you had a nice change of environment as well. encouraging and supporting friends who helped you greatly when you needed.

lastly, you met new people.

and, six months later, you were back in your old tracks, and also with someone you suspected was soon to be your new boyfriend. you had met him a couple weeks earlier and ever since, you two were hanging out almost all the time. going on dates, out to eat, you name it.

at first, you couldn't help but compare him to c/n. because the similarities between them were definitely visible. not only judging by their looks, but also the way they both behave. at first, you felt guilty - you wondered whether you'd have liked him too if he didn't look like c/n. but then, you actually began to like him. for who he was.

at least that's what you told yourself for the sake of both of you. it felt nice to have someone care for you. and actually mean it.

maybe it wasn't totally fair - but who cared if both you and he were happy?

~~~

you were just on your way to meet him. you were supposed to come over to his house, but you wanted to grab a few snacks and drinks before coming there. so there you were, walking through the grocery store's aisles when you suddenly heard a familiar voice.

that familiar voice.

only its tone was different from when you last heard it.

"hi," it was soft, quiet. as if he wasn't sure if he should've done that, or if he just rather should've ignored you.

you mustered up the courage to look up into his eyes. he smiled subtly, trying to appear nice.

you had thought of this moment countless times in the past. but you never imagined it to be like this - you didn't feel anything. no matter how much you searched for anything, there were no feelings present. finally seeing him after so much time did not shook you at all. there was no reaction from your body and mind - and it felt good not to feel anything.

you forced yourself to smile at him, too. it felt like you had finally forgiven him for what he had done, even if he didn't actually apologize for it in a proper way. he didn't need to - it was past you already.

"hey, c/n."

"it's nice to see you. uh- so how have you been?"

~~~~

hey guys! im sorry for not having updated so long but tbh i kinda forgot about this book yikes....anyways i tried my best to write at least somehow of a good ending but yeah its kinda short so im sorry.. im not planning to write any part 4 tho so you just gotta imagine how it went yourself. who knows, maybe they found their way back to each other, or became friends again, or just agreed to remain acquaintances. up to you, everyone. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!! ❤️ 🎄
AND THANKS FOR ALMOST 70K READS??? THATS HUGE!!! 

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