Perfect Nightmare

Chapter 27

Dove's POV

Beep! Beep! Beep!

I wake up to the sound of something beeping beside me and I'm immediately met with white pristine walls.

This isn't our room, where am I?

Looking around I see I'm connected to various wires and a heart monitor to my right side beating steadily. There is a large TV mounted to the wall and a long grey couch against the wall with a blanket and pillow on it. It looks like someone slept on that couch but thye left before I woke up.

"Goodmorning luna, I'm glad to see you're awake." The doctors says walking in.

He proceeds to check out all my vital signs but I can he is hiding something due to the gathering he isn't looking me in the eye.

"What's wrong?" I ask him but he replies nothing. "I know something is wrong so please tell me."

“I’m sorry luna. But you have lost your baby due to the extensive abdominal trauma you received.” The doctor keeps telling me about my other injuries but I don’t listen to him. All that registers is that my baby is gone.

My brain can’t register that the child i was so excited to have will never be and whatever I do I won’t ever get to meet them. I thought it was painful when I broke my leg but this is ten times the amount I feel. At least than the pain was physical and I knew after a certain time my bones will heal and the pain would end but this is isn’t something I could just slap a bandage on and hope it will heal.

If only I listened to Xavier when he said I should just forget about Oliva’s antics but oh no I decided to be heroic and look where that landed me.

The doctor eventually leaves and I couldn’t be more thankful since now I could wallow in self-pity in peace. You would think that after losing a child that your mate would be here to comfort you but I haven’t seen him since my so called heroic escapade.

***

It’s been a few days and within those days I’ve physically gotten better but my emotional state is worse. Every night I have nightmares where I dream I’m holding my baby only for Olivia to kill it in front of me. This would repeat every night and every night I would wake up in cold sweat while crying. I would touch my stomach and remember that it isn’t a nightmare, it’s actually reality.

I haven’t seen or heard from Xavier or even Logan ever since that fateful day and everytime I ask about them the doctors and nurses avoid answering me. I haven’t told my parents about this since I’m too ashamed to tell them I lost their grandchild. Even the blanket that was on the couch has been removed and I feel a lot lonelier because of it since it made me feel that someone cared enough to stay with me even though I didn’t know who they were.

“Good morning Luna, I hope you are doing fine today. I brought your discharge papers so you can leave whenever you’re ready.” A nurse says behind me while I stare out of the window. I give her curt nod without even turning around.

I’m glad I’m discharged since I won’t be reminded of my stupidity and the outcome of it but what worries me is how I’m going to get back since Xavier’s house is 30 minutes away by car and even longer walking. I would call a taxi but there are none here since everyone either has a car or shifts. As I was contemplating my fate I heard a voice I thought I would never hear again.

“Are you ready?”

Turning around I see him standing by the bed wearing black jeans and a white t-shirt with black trainers. He looks rough. His hair is messy like he run his fingers multiple times through it and didn’t bother to comb it. His eyes that I once loved so much now look dull and lifeless, in general he looks tired and defeated. My heart ached seeing him like that and wanted to comfort him but I stood my ground since he deserted me in my darkest moment. I don’t talk to him and walk out. Outside I see his Audi Q7 parked and his is lucky that I’m not allowed to drive yet since I would have left his ass here.

The drive home was deathly quiet since none of us dared to speak with the other person. Xavier concentrated on driving while I leaned on the door and couldn’t wait until this ride ended,  when we finally arrived I couldn’t be happier since it meant I will be far away from him. I basically leapt out of the car but came to a screeching halt when I saw the living room in a disarray. The couches were turned over and torn, the flat screen TV was laying face down on the floor with glass scattered everywhere.

What happened here?

Still in my state of shock, Xavier lifts me up and starts heading upstairs towards our room. I would be a lying if I said being in his arms again didn’t feel good but our situation has now changed and he probably hates me for losing our child.

“If you need anything tell me. I don’t want you hurting yourself by coming downstairs. I still care about you even though you think I don’t.” He says after laying me in bed. If he cares he has a strange way of showing it since he basically went MIA during the time I needed him the most.

I don’t reply to him and turn my back towards him. I know giving him the silent treatment isn’t wise and we need to talk and grieve our unborn baby but I’m pissed at him and I feel like he will blame me for losing our child when he specially told me not to go. I’m afraid of losing him as well even though our current situation isn’t ideal.

***

Somehow I feel asleep since now its dark outside. Looking down I see my shoes have been removed and I’m covered with a blanket. Glancing beside me on the night stand i see a tray with food and the pain killers the doctor prescribed me with a glass of water beside it.

I decide to take a shower before having dinner when I see the framed picture of my last ultrasound on Xavier’s side of the walk in closet. Even though it is a black and grey picture and there is a black blob in the space I can’t help but break down since I know that blob would have been our baby. Our living, breathing child and Xavier and I would have been preparing his room but now that has all gone to waste because of me.