Just - Theodore Nott

⁂𝐅𝐔𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋⁂

Theodore's Pov:

It was my fault. I was the reason she died.

The entire week, I cried, and cried, and sobbed, and had a panic attack, and cried some more. I wish I had Aliyah to help me through it, but she's gone, so my mum and Esmerelda were the best help Enzo, Matt and I could get.

I refused to eat the night it happened, I refused to get out of my room, and I refused
to sleep — I couldn't sleep, and now with insomnia it feels like nothing's real.

"The funeral's in an hour, Teddy..." mum spoke softly. "Mami, I can't go, don't you understand? I can't" I cried into her shoulder

"Tesoro, I know, but she'd want you to be there... do it for her..."

Those words were the reason I tried. I didn't bother fixing up my hair or anything, I just simply looked in my closet for an all black suit.

Tiredly searching my closet, my eyes fell on a certain piece of clothing. It was the hoodie she got me for my birthday.

I fought the urge to cry again and swallowed the lump in my throat. I can save my tears for when we actually get there.

—

Her tombstone was located right next to Sirius and Regulus's even though after the battle they couldn't find her body to bury.

Mattheo and the Berkshires were already there as well as the Lupins, Malfoys, Parkinsons, GreenGrasses and Zabinis. They were all sobbing their hearts out, especially Matt and Enzo.

ALIYAH THOMAS RIDDLE
a sister, a girlfriend, and a friend to all
"Do not cry, simply look for me in the stars"
2007 - 2025

That's what her tombstone read. I took a deep breath, eyes watering as Matt made his way to the stand set up. No one had ever seen him cry this much before, not even me.

He kept his head down, clearing his throat first before he began to speak.

"Aliyah... she's literally been there for me my whole entire life. When we were younger we would, uhm... we would always fight over the stupidest shit, but over time... we both really discovered how much siblings have an impact on your life, especially twins..."

He let out a shaky breath, "And when I-... and when I saw her dead... a little piece of me died with her" he chocked out a cry, "I'm sorry, I can't do this" he mumbled, burying his face in his hands.

I began to cry already, watching as Matt struggled to catch his breath. He was doing horrible without her, he was fading away.

He stepped off, Enzo making his speech next. Enzo was no longer happy, he hadn't smiled even once. "Aliyah and Mattheo may not be my siblings by blood, but they are to me. Growing up, I was always close to Al... She was always the friend that would make you smile, she was the friend you couldn't wait to go to classes with... she was there for everyone and sometimes she'd forget to be there for herself... That's where we bonded; I told her everything and she did the same..."

"There was nothing anyone could ever do to separate us, and we always planned to grow up and have our kids become best friends just like us, but unfortunately our dreams were crushed..."

"I was there for her at her worst... and now that she can't be here for me — " his voice broke, tears streaming down his face, "— it just really hurts. It really hurts knowing your best friend won't be able to be there for you or cheer you up... I just really hope she's doing well up there now that she can finally see Sirius and Regulus again, and I know she's smiling at us from above with them... she always is..." he sniffled, walking back to Matt and hugging him as they silently cried together.

Mum and dad wiped the few tears off their cheeks, signaling for me to go up.
I did, standing with that heavy lump in my throat again. Be natural, say what you think.

"I like to think that I've loved Aliyah all along... Even before I began to actually realize my feelings for her, I've always denied it as friendship appreciation, but it was so much more than that..."

"Aliyah was... a beautiful girl, inside and out. Gorgeous, even... she had the liveliest eyes, the funniest sense of humor, the kindest soul, and the brightest smile that she always kept on her face no matter what"

"That first night I kissed her, the time she was in the infirmary, the time she came to me hurt, I knew she was the one for me... Aliyah is someone irreplaceable... you can't find anyone near her level of everything. The night of the battle, I was willing to sacrifice myself for anything or anyone that would try and hurt her... but I was too late..." my voice trembled out a bit.

I let a few tears fall before I continued my sentence. "I saw her get hurt, and I saw her die right before my eyes in my arms... and when I saw her blood spilled over my hands I knew instantly that it was my fault, and I knew it would leave an immense, never-ending feeling of guilt deep within myself... and I feel horrible."

"To be very honest, I would've, and still do, rather to die instead of her. Because truthfully speaking, I don't know what to do without her... she was my everything, she was the reason I kept going. Now that she's gone I do really feel like giving up on life, but I know that's not what she'd want..." my voice broke.

Everyone was looking sympathetically, "We promised that if either one of us die one day that we'd live for one another, and I'm planning on taking that promise to my own grave later on. Even with her gone now, I know I won't find anyone near as good as she was because she was perfect in every way, which is why I will only ever love her..."

I began to sob, "Just... Just her..." , "And my eyes don't really ever shed tears, but they pour when I think about her... All I would ever wish for was more time, even if it were just a day..."

—

Most people left by now, but I was still there... it was starting to get dark and eventually my parents and I were the only ones left.

"Teddy, we have to go..." father said softly... "Can I just have a minute here alone?..."

He thought about it, "Alright... just don't be too late and be back before it's too dark" he and mum apparated home.

I sat by her tombstone, "Hello, my love..." my voice already broke again. I traced the carved letters of her name with the pads of my fingers softly, "I wish you were here..." I wiped a tear away

"... I'd give up anything in the world to see you again or hear your voice again... I don't know what I'm going to do the rest of my life now without you"

I placed my head against the grey stone and began to sob again, "I'm sorry I was too late to save you... I hope your looking down at us and at a different universe in which we might be together... Because I'm sure that in every other universe, we would've had our happy ending. I'm just sad it's not this one..."

—————
1263 wc
Depressing u guys with this
Again, the story is NOT over, there are still like four more chapters to be uploaded
ALSO THANKU GUYS SM FOR 24.9K READS LIKE WTF
I'M SO GRATEFUL FOR U GUYS
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