Chapter 13. ~ Angel ~

53 1 1
                                    

WARNINGS: Mentions of suicide

Y/N POV
————————————————
It's been a week since Gerard attempted to kill himself.

I don't know why he'd want to do that. I mean, his depression has been kicking him in the ass lately but still...

Anyway, he's been staying with me ever since because I made him. He likes it here.

He told me the second that he dropped his bags at my door that he's staying and that he's not leaving even if I try to make him.

I would never ask him to leave. In fact, I'd love it if he'd move in with me.

Both of us are more happy with each other than without anyway.

Right now, we're on the couch in the living room. There's nothing on TV to watch, so we're just cuddling on the couch I guess.

His head is in my lap and I'm laying down kind of, playing with his longish black hair.
"Gee?"
"Yeah?"
His voice was soft like usual when he replied.
"Can I ask something?" I murmured nervously, rubbing my finger tips along his scalp.
He hasn't told me what happened that set him off and made him try to kill himself.

"Yeah." He muttered simply and I swallowed the lump in my throat. It's not really something I want to talk about but I feel like it's something that has to be talked about.

"Why'd you try to do it?"
"For you." He said simply, folding his fingers together and what not.
For me? The hell, he thinks that would benefit me in some way? No. If he died I'd die too. I wouldn't be able to be here without him.
"Me?"
"Yes. You're an amazing woman, Y/n. You're badass but also kind at the same time. You deserve someone else. Not me." He murmured, his voice laced with disappointment.
"Well even if that was true, which it's not, I'd still want you."
"You told me how much it hurt you when Mikey called you."
"It did hurt because I thought I would never see you again, Gerard."
"So I hurt you?" He asked bluntly and I didn't really know what the say as my hands snaked slowly around his neck where a rope had just been a week before.
I was hurt. I felt like I wasn't good enough for him. Like, deserved someone who could make his depression stop... I guess.

"I just... I wish you saw yourself the way I see you."
"Yeah, me too." He chuckled slightly and I ran my thumb over the singular burn mark on his neck right below his ear.
"Because you're perfect, Gerard. Maybe not to the world, but you're perfect to me."

And with that, he didn't say anything back but he did grab my hand from his neck and held it. His hand was warm as he aced his fingers with mine, still giving me the same tingly feeling.

I love him.
And my God, if I lost him-
I'd die too.
____________________________________

Gerard Way X Reader Oneshots/imaginesWhere stories live. Discover now