As Worlds Collide

Chapter Twenty-Seven: The Past Always Seems To Haunt

My maker and I walked hand in hand through the dark forest and I couldn’t help but notice how every now and then the moonlight would brighten up his face perfectly making him gleam in this perfect lighting. The rest of the clan decided to race back to the house giving Thor and I some much needed alone time, it was just a shame that my thoughts were all over the place and it was too hard to concentrate on just one thing right now. I kept questioning my strength and still couldn’t believe that I had carried out with the removal of the heart of the alpha. Not just any alpha, he was the alpha of the alpha’s, and not only did I have the strength to capture the heart we needed I had felt no remorse for the poor widowed woman who clung to his side. I still felt no remorse and honestly I wished I could have let her live out her life lonely without him. I was pleasured by her pain and it just didn’t seem ‘me’ to feel so happy witnessing someone else’s pain.

“She would have killed herself anyways.” Thor stated as if he were trying to calm my unsettled mind.

“Just get out of my fucking head ok.” I snapped back. I was no longer in the midst of battle and lost all appreciation of his mind reading abilities.

“If you would just quit trying to push me out you would realize that it’s not that bad. I wish you would just stop shutting yourself off from me Misty.” Thor whispered.

I didn’t want to let him in. I guess I was still in some way my old self keeping a wall up and trying to keep predators out. Not that Thor was a predator just in the sense of I was always on the lookout for my heart and my feelings. I loved Thor, at least I thought I loved him, I wasn’t very sure of what love was. I knew that love wasn’t just three little words. Love was an emotion, love was felt and most importantly love was shown. I couldn’t help but wonder what I would have chosen if the council had come to me if I had ever seen the day I was 25 if I hadn’t been forced with this existence. Would I have been cold blooded and never aging? Would I have been a hot blooded bitch? Or would I have stayed human? It was too late for would haves or what if’s. I was a vampire. I belonged to my maker and I had a home and for a short time I was happy with that until now when I realized just how cold blooded and heartless I had become.

“I’m going away for a while.” I announced to Thor who was either lost wandering around my mind or lost in his own.

“Mmmm, vacation, Where we going?” Thor asked with a puzzled look on his face.

“I didn’t say we I said I’m and that wasn’t an ivitation for you to think you could come along. I have proved that I can care for myself and I just need some time to get my thoughts straight. I don’t like who I am, who I’ve become. I don’t like my lack of caring. I need to get my mind right.” I stated clearly not asking because I had already made up my mind.

Thor’s gaze fell upon the ground clearly disappointment taking over his face while he tried to take all of this in. I suddenly felt an enormous amount of rejection and knowing it wasn’t my own I knew it was eating Thor alive.  

“I can’t stop you. Just don’t forget where home is. I hope that you will come back but what you decide is beyond me.” Thor spoke those words as if I were going away forever.

I had every intention on coming home.

“And don’t forget I love you.” He whispered as he squeezed my hand a little bit.

I knew I didn’t want to be away from him per say but I knew I had to get away I had to figure out what the hell was going on with me and why I had turned so cold and not in the physical sense because that chill was obvious. A lump rose in my throat as I prepared to return those three little words. Those three little words that meant the world to Thor, it was the least I could do, but I couldn’t manage to swallow this lump that remained in the depths of my throat as tears started to form in my eyes. I don’t know why I couldn’t say it back and I didn’t realize that I had been paying so much attention to the ground and not to Thor when I heard him begin to sniffle. Was he really crying?