A/N: the song for this chapter is Crazy in love by Beyonce. the fifty shades of grey version.
*Tries winking seductively*
chapter twenty-four |
Y o u r p o v
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I sat on the bed as I watched the wooden door in front of me. My body was shaking & I felt like I wanted to throw up. I watched as the light in the chandelier of my room started flickering. That's what I've been staring at for an hour. Was I supposed to lie? Was I supposed to say that I didn't love Jax? I asked myself.
He would've known I was lying, that was a trick question. How the hell could I have not loved my boyfriend of three years? Even though Jax was not an amazing boyfriend, I ended up falling in love him.
Jason locking the door made me feel trapped. Why would he leave me in here? Does he want to punish me for admitting my old feelings? I sat there while my mind kept pitching scenarios & ideas in my head.
What happens if the house catches on fire—how the hell am I supposed to escape?
My mind started wandering with all the possible things he could be doing right now.
What if he does something stupid? He doesn't know how to handle his anger & it'll be my fault. Just like it was my fault that Jax died. I should've just lied & said that I didn't love Jax. I should've avoided the question. I don't know why I was dreaming about him in the first place. But It's normal right, I witnessed him getting shot with my own eyes. Of course I was going to be traumatized. I heard the front door slam & I jolted up from the bed. I walked to the door, pressing the side of my ear to it. I was hoping to hear something, anything.
I heard a loud shatter—signaling that something broke.
That's when I knew that he was home, but not the same way he left.
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I stumbled through the door. I was completely intoxicated. I called an über & they picked me up from the bar that I was at. Yes, I was cautious because I didn't want to drive under the influence.
I felt anger & heartbreak all at once as I stepped inside the house. I knew she was upstairs locked in her room. I knew she was upset that I locked her in there—but I had too & I was deeply hurt. Why would she love him?
I headed into the kitchen, opening my liquor cabinet. I grabbed a vodka bottle, I tore the cover off. I tilted the glass back pouring the liquid into my mouth. I drunk it til the bottle was half way finished. I dropped the bottle on the ground staring off into space. I'm still heartbroken. No amount of alcohol can numb the pain of heartbreak.
Knowing she loves anybody but me, made me feel angry. It made me sad, I needed something to numb the pain,
& it was her.
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As soon as I heard his foot steps, walking up the stairs, I quickly stumbled back on to the bed. I sat on the soft silk sheets as goosebumps formed all over my body. I heard as the door knob turned. I watched as the door suddenly swinging open. There he was, he was wearing blank jeans with a long grey tee shirt. I looked up at him, he looked & seemed like he was normal, as he stepped forward I noticed his drunken eyes.
He had his eyes on me as he slowly stumbled towards the bed. He's drunk. Great. This should be interesting. I thought.
"I've missed you." He whispered softly. He fell on top of me, wrapping his arms around my neck. I didn't know what the hell was going on. He nuzzled his head into my neck as I laid there confused. Is he that drunk?
"I want you so bad." He whispered in my ear.
"Jason you're drunk." I said, trying to sit up. I have to admit it was cute but it wasn't supposed to be cute. I'm not supposed to find a boy that murders people cute. "I lovve ouuuuu, you have a nice ass & yourtrr hairrrr is so soft & your smile makes me smile." He mumbled on. He was softly stroking my hair like I was a little baby. This made me smile slightly.
"I just want you but you don't want me back." He whispered. He lifted his head from my neck & I was revealed to his puppy dog eyes. I didn't know what to say.
"I'd do anything for you. I'd killlll for youu. I jussssst want you to want me." He whispered. He dropped his head on my shoulder. I didn't know what to do so I used my hand to rub his back gently.
I felt light kisses on my collarbone, causing me to almost enjoy them,
"I think you need to rest." I suggested. "I'm not tired." He groaned. I looked up at him in with surprisingly. What I feel for Jason is complicated, it was definitely not love.
"I just want you lovve you." He whispered for the second time tonight. Could I ever love him?
"Woah there." I said as felt his hands trailing down my body. I started to feel uncomfortable. I laid my hands on top of his, restricting his movements.
"Can I kiss you." He whispered in my ear. He moved his face in front of mine, attempting to kiss me. I moved my head away. He pulled away, I'm guessing that made him upset. He straddled me, holding my hands above my head. I tried moving my hands but his grip was too firm. I looked up at him as he stared down at me with lust in his eyes. Is he really going to kiss me?
He looked so gentle even though he wasn't being gentle. He had a soft look on his face as he looked down at me.
In that moment I gave in.
A/N: Comment opinions & thoughts.
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SHE'S MINE → JASON MCCANN
Fanfiction[Highest Rank ~ #1 in Fanfiction] 7/18/2016 BOOK ONE → "YOU CAN NEVER LEAVE ME!" He screamed. You stared down at the silver pistol that was dangling in his hands. You watched the man that had the fate of your life in his hand. You were beyond scared...
