SHE'S MINE → JASON MCCANN

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A/N: How many chapters do you guys want this book to have?

It's Calum's birthday tomorrow!!! Any 5sos fans #HappyBirthdayCalum

chapter sixty-five |
Y o u r  p o v

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I followed Jason out of Barney's. He ignored my pleas for him to stop, I'm guessing he was upset about something I wasn't aware about. The cold air collided into my face, blowing my hair. I zipped up the bomber jacket I was wearing, pulling my beanie down to cover my ears.

"What was that?" I asked, I wasn't quite sure if my ears heard him correctly. I wasn't sure if he was joking or if he was actually being serious. I studied his face, searching for a reason he would say something so ridiculous. I watched as he placed the cigarette in his mouth, releasing the toxic smoke. I couldn't help but feel somewhat intrigued by the way he smoked. "Nothing." He shrugged.

What? You can't just say something like that and expect me to just brush it off.

I grabbed the cigarette from his mouth, throwing it onto the ground. He looked down at me almost annoyed. "Who said anything about running away with her?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest. It was never a plan for me to ever run away with Lisette, that was all HER idea. I was just confused as to how he found out about HER plan.

"She said you guys thought about it." He said, while lifting up his cap & running his fingers through his now silver hair. He always had his hair tucked under a cap, with his hoodie over it. I never fully understood why he always went for that look. Either way he still looked immensely attractive.

I was completely surprised that she would tell him such a twisted truth. Was she trying to cause drama? But the real question was When did they even have the time to talk about this? I was the one who told her that I would never run away with her, she kept trying to talk me into it. But she didn't completely lie. I wondered if Josh actually killed her father like she had said.

"We did discuss it, but it was her plan" I admitted. "And I didn't take it seriously."

"Would you have gone with her—would you have left me?" He asked. His eyes were pouring into mine.

"No. But I thought about it. I just wanted to see them. I was thinking recklessly because I missed them. But I knew that I couldn't leave you." I confessed.

The air grew silent.

"She was right?" He scoffed. He looked down, finding the ground more interesting than my face.

"No because I'm still here. The fact that you believe I would scares me."

Him trusting her so easily made me feel like he didn't trust me. "I didn't. But then I remembered ever since the night at the Carnival, when you two met, You've been talking about communicating with your family." He said, causing me to sigh dramatically,"That's because before we left that night, I saw my mother & my brother on the news. Remember that?" I asked him, not getting a response.

"You still think that I would actually run away? Really?" I scoffed. His eyes scanned over my face. I hoped that he felt guilty. "I'm a fucking idiot." He whispered to himself.

I most definitely agree.

"When did she tell you this?" I asked. "Yesterday, Josh brought her over." He said.

"Is that why you came over by the cabin yesterday?" I asked, he grabbed a hold of my hand, walking us down the sidewalk. "No, well-yeah. Sort of." He said uneasily. I waited for him to tell me the actual reason, "I wanted to talk to you about something." He said eventually. I couldn't help but notice how nervous he started to become.

"Am I holding you back?" He suddenly asked.

What?

His eyes were locked with mine, while I sent him a flustered look. "Holding me back from what?" I asked, my eyes were deeply focused on him. I honestly had no idea where this question was leading to.

"Are you happy?" He asked me.

I think so.

"Yes. Why?" I asked. I watched as he stood there , searching for the exact words to say to me. "How? How could you be if I'm holding you back from being happy?" He asked.

I thought I just said that I'm happy.

Where is all this coming from?

"What are you holding me back from?" I asked, deeply interested in his response.

"Your family." He said.

This again.

Lisette has caused deeper problems then I thought. "I'm fine. I'm happy. Where is all this coming from?" I asked him. He swallowed down hard, clenching his jaw. "I saw the way you looked at the tv when you saw your mother crying on the screen. Do you know how difficult that was for me to see you like that? There was nothing I could do to make you stop hurting." He expressed, my heart actually felt numb while I watched him speak.

What am I supposed to say?

"It's better if my family knows I'm dead Jason. Trust me." I said to him. His eyebrows furrowed once the words poured from my mouth. It was true. I wasn't the same 18 year old girl I was when he kidnapped me that night. Time can change people & i don't know if it changed me for the worst or best. What do you think?

I think worst. I realized, over the past month, that it's best if my family believe I was dead. It would be easier for them & me.

"Why would you say that?" He asked, I could hear the deep concern in his voice. I didn't know how to answer this question without making myself feel sorry for my own-self. "I killed someone. Not just by accident, I wanted to do it. I kept trying to convince myself that I was genuinely on edge & I was protecting myself but I wasn't. Everything that happened that night wasn't accidental. I can't possibly face my mother, pretending to be that innocent girl I once was. I rather they remember me as the girl that see me as. Not this." I let out. I felt him wrap his arm around my waist, nuzzling my head into his neck. I felt him gently place a kiss on head.

I don't deserve this.

"You're not a bad person Y/n." He whispered in my ear. I wrapped my arms around his neck, feeling his warmth. "I feel like one." I mumbled. He lifted his head up, grabbing my face in the palm of his hands. "You're not." He said to me. I shook my head, closing my eyes. I felt the water burning in my eyes.

"Everything okay?" Matt asked. I turned around, seeing everyone with their shopping bags placed in their hand. I moved away from Jason slowly. "Yeah, I was just cold." I said, mustering up a smile. Jason eyes didn't leave my face once, even with his friends standing there, I could see him watching me like I was a wounded puppy.

Which was what I didn't want.

A/N: thank you guys for reading.