Love at its Weakest [Completed]

The Scene

"Okay, Colette, I think I know who I am in your life... I am..."

He coughed right after he nailed that line, a seemingly important call sent him to the hots.

"Declan, is everything alright?" I bashfully inquired. I knew he was not fine.

"I am... I am... I'll go to the outside for a while. please excuse me.." He managed to say with his phone between his ear and shoulder.

"I can go with you, if you like." I said, and that was it. He did not come back after two hours and asked one of his many men to "bring Miss Parker home." I felt like a kindergarten kid scolded and sent home.

As soon as I have reached home, an enveloped, typewritten notecard was upon my table with a bouquet of lilies and carnations. I smiled. Well, I was returned to the moment in Colorado Springs Hospital when I received an IKebana arrangement with a letter from Grandma Jill. I held the notecard. I knew that I needed not to ask who it was from. I knew in my heart it was Declan who sent the note. My heart felt like it was shredded all over again. Everything reminded me of Nate. I did not know how to stop it or control it. It has been four years, but I knew deep within that I have never stopped loving him. All Nate did was love me and care for me. I did not open the note then. I left it sitting on the drawer and went to get a vase for the flowers. I knew what Declan would say, he'd apologize and thank me at the same time.

I went to my room and I wasat least thankful that Iwas emancipated from the stresses of the day. I missed Nathan Hall. I badly wanted to see him again, but I knew that what I then wanted was too far from possible. I slept with melancholy, but slight satisfaction. I was too worn out, too tired to even talk to Hallie, or to even call my family. I felt empty without Nathan, sad beyond compare. I have never been successful, but also, since we separated, I have never felt complete. I slept the night off. Tomorrow would surely be a GREAT day at work.

The night was soft, warm and mellow. I had Vivaldi's Four Seasons on my player. The night was perfect. No, scratch that, it would have been perfect if Nate was around. The night was perfect and I was not. My pillow was soft and comfy, except that it was soaked with my maskara and my tears. I could vaguely remember the last time I last saw Nate, and too bad, the last time I saw him, he was gloomy all over.

I did not know what time I was lulled to sleep, but all I know is that I forgot to place ice pack beneath my eyes, and the next thing I knew, my eyes were pompously battered with eye bags and a dark hue of grief. I frowned at the mirror. This is bad. People might think I cried all night because poor Colette got ditched by the handsome Declan M. Edwards. I juggled the ice pack over my eyes and I tried everything I could to clear the ugly face away. I placed loads of concealer and foundation and then added a few shades of eye shadow to make them perfect. I had lost a lot of weight the past four years. I looked really ugly compared to the happy me, four years ago. I could not believe that I was thiking abou Nate the next morning. I could not believe that after a brief encounter with him, he could make me in love with him for a long long time... no, forever. I looked at myself in the mirror and scrutinized my features while the ice bag was upon my left eye. I have changed a lot. I have grown long nails, I wear ultra red lipstick, I could carry around 7 inch heels without tripping, I could wear lingerie, but the giddy sixteen year old kid who was in love with Nathan, I could not believe that after such a long time, I found myself still in love with the same guy. Four years have gone, but I never found myself moving on. I was too heart broken to let go.

I took a long warm shower and decided to wear a purple zip up silk dress to the office. I grabbed my coat, my parka and I realized that I was back at my rusty old car a Lincoln '96. It revved loud enough to wake the neighbors, but it was all my grandfather had for me before he passed away. It was not a high- hat or an aristocratic, elitist car, but I was at least thankful that it was not a blast- off, tar colored truck. I was about to lock my small house when I realized that my usual "Home sweet home" mat was replaced with a furry mat with the big words "COFFEE IS ON ME" a small note was also stitched right under the big letters "7:15 at Bean n' Tea" right after the sub heading an embossed set of initials was placed "-DWME" Yeah, Who doesn't know who owned those big letters. D.W.M.E. Declan Wyatt Mathers Edwards. His name sounded like a dwarf name to me. Declan Edwarf. I chuckled at the thought. Well, maybe coffee was all I needed after an exquisite, ditched Masa meeting. I did not think twice. Who would turn down free macchiato?