Love at its Weakest [Completed]

The Perfect Misconception

Nathan was back and I knew it was to rekindle what we once lost. I found my heart yearning with desire for him. I found my heart beating and longing to see him. I reached for the old wheelchair, I fondled the felt in it, and the rusting braces I used to wear. I remembered the olden days when Nathan would tuck me to bed and the next thing I know, I wake up with his beautiful face in front of me. I realized that I have never stopped loving him. I realized that all those years, he was what my heart wanted. He was the reason why I never dated, I never got attracted to any guy. I think my loving Nathan was guarding me all along. There I was, still hoping that I was right, hoping that he was there somewhere watching me and that he would knock at my door and say he wanted me back. I missed the feel of having his hands on my waist, my head pressed against his neck, my lips into his. I would never trade him for anything. My Nathan... I would never forget the countless nights where I would cry and soak my pillow because of him. I then felt the weight of the world on my body, pumping my strength away. I saw tears flowing again as I watched the wheelchair and imagined Nathan strapping the belts all over me so I would not fall. I did not bother to call Hallie. There was nothing to say anyway. I would hate the fact that I was with Declan all day and yet at the end of everything, Nathan was still my last say.

The winds misted all over my house. I opened the fire place and the fire was dancing in melancholic music. It followed the rhythms of my broken heart. The light of fire was burning my skin. I was nearer than I was expected to be from the fireplace. I got a bottle of scotch and poured myself a couple of glasses of it. I has saturated my sadness, but never got the chance to rake away the thought of Nate in my heart. It was eating me like a million pieces of stars in the sky. I was lost and sad. I gulped huge mounds of liquid scotch and it has dried my throat like my heart when it stopped beating.

Thus, the rain poured once more, melting in the ground away with my tears. The rain could hear my cries. New York pitied me. The streetlights watched me cry. It was cold and I was shivering. I lie awake as I imagined that I was back at the cheery yellow room with the green and red buttons beside to call for Nathan and I imagined my foam bed to be a water bed just like the one Nate had prepared. I imagined his body intertwined with mine, but no matter what I do, everything was just a silhouette of reality and a picture of fiction. Everything was just something like memories that faded away slowly with the water like the sand upon the oceans. My heart stormed with fear that if I do not look for Nathan, I might loose him forever. I jumped out of my bed, put on my trench coat, got an umbrella, took the little elfin on my door and ran away as fast as I could.

I kept shouting at the top of my voice.

"Nathan! Nathan! I am know you're here somewhere. Please, show up, I need you... I love you!" I did not care if I looked crazy, but that was all I kept on saying until more tears flowed from my eyes. I couldn't feel my nose the wind was blowing wildly and my heart was breaking hard. I felt the world stop as I search for his face,

"Nate, show up, please I beg you, show up. I know you're here." I kept on saying, hoping and praying that he would hear me. I lost all the hope after hours of running along the roads, clutching the poor elfin on my hand. i felt the pain breaking in, fresh as it was four years ago.I sat on one of the soaked benches. It suffered the same fate as mine. I was wet, tired, sad and heart broken. People stared at me like I was some dirt. They stared at me with pity, some did with disgust but a certain woman approached me with kindness, in her hands were two papercups of coffee. She looked at me with sadness, as if she had felt the same pain. My hands were trembling as I found myself reaching to the papercup she offered.

"Come honey, let's bring you home." She slid me in her car with my cup caved into my hands.

"Has he hurt you?" She politely asked. I believed that I was sober for an instant, but all I had were slurred speeches. My eyes were half opened.