Love at its Weakest [Completed]

The Stone Heart

Weeks have gone by with me going out to date, movies, watch theatrical performances, parks wifh Declan, Declan and Declan. Sometimes, it feels saturating. The feeling is nice when you think that someoen actually cares for you, but when thoughts of Nate show up, I could not stand the pain. I never saw anything that reminded me of Nate since the day Declan and I made love. Since the day I ruined everything. I never heard from Nate, never felt him close, and it hurts more than not knowing who sent 'memories' to me. I decided that what I was doing was unhealthy for me, for Declan and for the people around us. I felt bad about not telling Declan that I was in love with Nate even after what happened at Biggie's house. She never called, I never called to apologize. I just wanted things to be over. I have thought a thousand times to leave New York and maybe go to California with my family, or... I've considered driving back to Colorado. Declan and Lillian had much quality time together, They grew fine. Months went by... then years...

Four years more had passed... It was my twenty-fifth birthday. I was celebrating a silver milestone in my life. My boyfriend, Declan has always been supportive. Lillian and Garrett tied the knot two months after they celebrated three years of their relationship and of course, Garrett's proposal. They had a baby boy they named Malcolm. Everyone I have grown to love was there. Everyone, except Nathan. My family, my workmates, my old boss, Mr. Gladwell (since I now own CBS), Declan's family, Hallie and my old collegues. It was a happy and special moment. Lots of postcards came to me. Lots of gifts... of wishes... of friends... I was content, but not happy. It would've been a happier celebration if Nate was there. It would've been great if he was the one hugging and kissing me instead of Declan. I have learned to appreciate Declan, I have learned the art of not showing him whenever the thought of Nate crosses my mind, but I never learned to love him. He was the sweetest boyfriend I could ever have, but we actually never had the chemistry to live together happily ever after.

I was sitting on my window seat reading all the messages and the letters from people across the world who know me. A picture of a lady with a heart in her hand attracted me. I nervously opened it, and I found a letter with many marks of water globs in it, it was written like the person who wrote it cried as he or she did.

Dearest Colette,

Thank you so much for being a strong lady for Declan. Thank you for not leaving him, for not hurting him, for trying to loving him at least, and for being patient with him. Thank you for restoring his happiness. A happiness that was once stolen from him because of an accident. I could never thank you enough, now that I can see him happy. I expect him to propose to you for a wedding in a few years... or months... no one really knows. I'd like you to know that it's your right to be free. Please do not feel obliged to say 'yes' to him if you don't feel like doing it, because in the end, you will surely be filled with regret that you were never meant to feel. If youare in love with a guy who owns your heart, find him. If youfeel the necessity of going borders just to see him, do it. Don't be scared. I know that you are afraid of hurting Declan, and my heart will also break to see him hurt, but whatever happens, I know that it's not your fault. I really hope you find your man because I want you to find your own happiness... Happy Birthday Coe.

-A

"To find my own happiness..." There was only one girl in the world who would do anything to make people find their own happiness... Biggie! Biggie is A. Declan's A is Biggie. I drove to the 37th hibiscus road to see Biggie gardening. The sun was setting and her face was sad, but masked with joy when Eric arrived. I looked at them from afar. Her eyes were sad, but her hands told her to go and hug her husband. I waved at her and her eyes glimmered in the dark of the sunset. She went over me and hugged me. I waved the letter to her, speechless...

"You found me." She said, with tears trickling down her face.

"You did not tell me you were 'A'. You were the only person Declan ever loved. Why didn't you tell me?"