When we're 19.

Chapter 23.

CHAPTER 23.

"When I'm alone, I think of so many things to say to you but when I have the chance to tell you, I go speechless. " -Sweetyblue

BETH'S P.O.V.

"Why is it that you always save me?" After all the questions and so many situations with so many thing I could say, this is what slipped out?

Curse myself for being such an ass and not saying the right thing when I should have said so much more. This could have been my chance, I could have told everything to Harry and maybe things could have turned around for...us. But the way he hasn't turned back yet, how his hand is losing grip from my hand, anyone can simply predict that he doesn't wants to answer or even have a simple conversation with me. But why? Talking to me wouldn't hurt will it? Is he that mad? Does he really despise me?

"Come on." He mumbles, pulling me gently. He's changing the topic. It's making me furious by every minute. I have to talk to him.

"No." I sternly spoke. "Harry, talk to me." And his hand left grip from mine, my hand falling to my side. He didn't look at me yet but I could tell how he is fighting for decisions. He has no intention to talk to me; I have known that very well now. Hurts though, a lot.

He turns around, his eyes searching for mine. That's when my hopes jump up, he wants listen to me. Will he really listen to me?

"Cassidy is waiting in the car." And that's the answer for my question. The answer that made me forget my questions, my reasons and explanations. I felt the pain in my chest. I felt that hole growing deeper this time. He does know how to shut me up.

He turns around, taking a few steps. I take that as his response to my stupid and careless question and follow him, keeping a good gap between our bodies. He'll be in the car, Cassidy will be in the car, I'll be in the car. My mind will go insane. I needed a break, dammit.

Just not far away, I spot Matt's jeep and Cassidy seated on the passenger seat. I just feel like turning away and walking my way home but I know after what had happened a few moment ago I had no power or I will never think of going out like this again, ever.

I climbed on the back seat, the seat behind Cassidy while Harry buckles his seat belt on the drivers seat. I'm completely aware about the awkwardness being built between us in just few seconds. Cassidy speaks up as soon as we get into the car.

"Where were you guys?"

"I got your pills, it was quite a long line." Harry lies, digging his hand in thight jeans he wore, me watching his moves intently. He hands Cassidy a packet and placed his hands on the steering wheel.

"Thank you so much." Cassidy squeaks before stretching up to place a kiss on his cheek. My head drops down to my hand, bitting the inside of my cheeks for no reason. I should not look up at them just to avoid ang reactions from me but it's so hard not to look up when you know there is something going on. Something that kills you all at once.

When I look up, my eyes directly meet Harry's from the rear view mirror. I roll my baze away immediatly, looking out the window. I hate this. The jeep rattles to life finally, Harry pulling out of the parking lot. My gaze stays still on his hand that grabbed the steering wheel firmly. His rings shone everytime the street light passed. For a boy, his hands were extraordinarily attractive. If that made any sense.

"Beth?" Cassidy takes my attention, breaking my thoughts. As much as I'm afarid of her question I decided to take it as my chance to somehow humiliate her at least once. I keep my gaze on his hand and spoke. It's not like she can see me.

"Yeah?"

"Are you and Jim...like..together or something?" Instead of the question, my mind focus on the hand. The grip around the steering got tighter, the muscle in his hand refelxing giving me the clue of the strong grip. My eye thwn search for his face some how, I could only get the view of his left cheek. His jaw was tensing....

"Beth?" I get interrupted by Cassidy yet again. I shake my head to push the thoughts away and think of an answer for her unexpected question.

"I ask you som..." She gets interrupted by Harry.

"Are those the right medicines?" He asks. He was changing the topic again, I could tell. Does he have a habit of changing topics? It sure looks like it.

"Yeah..." Cassidy exdurates her answed. "Anyway, Beth I just...." She gets disrupted again by the same boy.

"Can you check?" His voice had a hint of anger.

"I'll check it later Harry, let me talk to Beth." Her voice had a hint of annoyence.

What the fuck!?!

The car comes to an hualt making my body jolt forward but I place my hand on the seat. I look out of thw window and saw the house just across the road. I know I'll get scolded so badly.

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Swwwrryyyyyyy. For such a sucky tiny chapter. I've been busy with school. god, I'll try by bestestestest to update tommorrow. :*

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