CHAPTER SIXTY-FOUR

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Hermione's POV

I opened my heavy eyes to find myself on the living room couch. I looked around, trying to remember where I was. I was in my family's small cottage.. I noticed I had scrapbooks laid out all over the couch and on the floor. My chest felt heavy, and I could feel the lump in my throat as I remembered why I was sleeping on the couch. As I remembered why I had scrapbooks laid out before me. As I remembered why my eyes felt heavy.. I looked at my watch to see it was 12:00 in the afternoon. I stood up off the couch with weak knees. I have been sleeping on the couch so I don't have to sleep in that bed.. The bed where his smell still faintly resinates.. The bed he use to sleep so comfortably in.. The bed I use to be able to roll over and see the man I loved. Love. Loved..? I slowly sank back onto the couch. It's Friday.. The funeral is Sunday.. The funeral.. Rose and Hugo don't know yet.. I need to go to the school- I need to tell them.. They don't want to see you. Why would they want to see their failure of a mother. I shook my head. Trying to do anything but think. I need to tell them what's going on. I need to see them. Why? So they can scream at you? Tell them how much of a disappointment you are? All you've done is sit there, and cry. You let Rose get hurt. You didn't help. You weren't there with Harry and Ron to fight Dolohov. You were home. While your daughter was tortured and your husband was murdered.. I couldn't stop thinking. I wanted it to go away. I feel like I haven't been able to breathe in weeks.. Suddenly my thoughts were interrupted by green flames in the fireplace. I stared blankly, as Harry appeared through the flames. He stepped out of the fireplace and looked around the living room. His green eyes met mine, and he sighed heavily. "You're in the exact same spot I found you in, yesterday." He said quietly. I shrugged my shoulders.

"Not much else for me to do." I whispered, breaking eye contact to stare at a crack in my wall. "Have you told the kids about-" "no." I cut him off. Not wanting to hear the words funeral. Not wanting to be reminded of everything I already knew. "They need-" "I know that they need to know." I hissed, trying to focus on that small crack in the wall, and nothing else. "Mione-" "WHAT, HARRY?" I yelled, shoving my fists in my hair. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. He had been coming over everyday. And if he didn't come over, Ginny would. "You haven't left that couch in days." He stated simply. I didn't say anything. "Mione, your kids need you right now." He pleaded, sitting down next to me. I shook my head. "They don't need me. They probably hate me. If I had been there-" "what, you think you could have saved Ron?" He cut me off, disbelief in his voice. That's exactly how I felt. If I was there, I'd have had his back. "Merlin, Hermione.. You couldn't have known where we were even going, we didn't have time to tell anyone, we went as fast as we could to save Rose." I shrugged my shoulders. "I should have been with you. I should have helped you guys from the beginning. I should have known.."

I heard him sigh. "And what? Leave your career? Not be able to support your kids? Be home for them? I've missed out on so much of my children's lives, you would never want to feel that way, you'd regret it." He said heavily. "Ron will miss out on their lives, too.." I whispered. He didn't say anything. It was very quiet for awhile, before I felt his weight disappear from the couch. His foot steps faded to the other side of the room, and I knew he was leaving. "Mione, we are all having a really hard time dealing with this. Ginny can hardly get through the day without throwing something at a wall. And you don't want to see Molly. But- we also know Ron would not want us being like this. Not forever anyways." Was the last thing he said, before I heard him say clearly, "Potter Residence", the room was enveloped in green light, and he was gone. I sighed heavily, and laid back down on the couch. I hugged a throw pillow tightly to my chest, and sighed heavily. And suddenly I head something banging on the living room window. I reluctantly got up from my spot, and walked to the window, to see Roses owl. My heart began to race. I opened the window, and Romeo flew in. He stuck his foot out for me to untie the letter. His large black eyes stared at me, and he hooted happily. Happy to see a familiar face I presume. Once he was free of the letter, I went to sit on the couch once more, letter in hand. But he hooted once again, to get my attention. He clicked his beak, and I realized he must want food. I brought down his large cage, with food and water, and once sat down he happily flew into his perch to rest. I sat back down, ready to read my daughters letter. I hesitated to open the envelope. What if all she had to say was how disappointed she was to have a mother like me.. I took a deep breath, and opened the letter.

"Hey mom, I haven't heard from you in awhile. How are you? Well, I know you aren't good, but, Harry said you're having trouble adjusting. And he won't really tell me anything else which has me worried. When is the funeral..? I'd imagine very soon.. I'd really be happy if you came by before the funeral, to talk. I don't start classes until Monday, so I have a lot of time on my hands. Hugo also misses you, he's taking this really hard too. But I guess we all are. Please come to the castle, we'd really love to see you. As childish as it sounds, I guess we really need our mom more than ever. Love you, write back soon.
                                              -Rose"

I stared long and hard, at the words "we need our mom more than ever." For a really long time.. They didn't hate me.. They needed me.. I folded the letter and set it gently on the coffee table. I was going to the castle. And I was not going to lay on that couch for the rest of my life.

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