Chapter 15

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"Everybody's waiting"

"Everybody's watching..Even when you're sleeping..Keep your eyes open..The tricky thing..Is yesterday we were just children..Playing soldiers..Just pretending..Dreaming dreams with happy endings..In backyards, winning battles with our wooden swords..But now we've stepped into a cruel world..Where everybody stands and keeps score..Keep your eyes open..."






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I look away, shocked at my own words. I can't believe I just said that. I mean.. I think I do love him.






I heard him laughing from above me. I knew I shouldn't have said that.






"Your pathetic. You think I could love someone like you. Ha! I would never fall for someone as idiotic and pathetic like you. You don't know anything." He laughed.






Tears sprung in my eyes. I knew something like this would happen. He's right I am pathetic. I don't know anything. Right? I mean that's what he said.






I jump off the counter and sprint up the stairs running into a random dark room and locking the door.






I fall down against the door and let everything out. I don't deserve to live on earth. Who would love someone like me. I'm pathetic, stupid and don't know a clue about anything.






I stumble over to one of the drawers and try to find anything sharp. It was hard to see, tears blocking my vision along with the darkness.






I find a pencil sharpener and take the blade out, cutting my finger in the process.






I run to the corner of the room and fall to the floor. I take off my shirt, pressing the sharp blade to my stomach.






I slide it against my skin drawing out blood.






One cut for being pathetic

One cut for being stupid

One cut for wanting to live

One cut for all the mean people

One cut for all the mistakes

One cut for believing

One cut.. for everything






By the time I'm done there are cuts all along my body.





Everyone was right. I don't deserve to live. Everybody hates me. I hate myself.






I don't want to live anymore. I just want to die. I've stayed strong for so long.. and I just can't go any longer. I don't want to be on this terrible earth. Nobody would even give a shit if I died. Harry, Mom, Dad, Ellis, nobody would care. So what's the point of living when there's nothing to live for...





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I hope you enjoyed this short chapter !






Sorry for any mistakes ! I just wanted to upload this as soon as I could. I will edit it later !





This chapter is dedicated to anybody and everybody who has self-harmed or does self-harm. I just want to say that you all are beautiful and I love you all. If you ever feel like there's nobody there, I'm always here for you !!






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