Can I stay? (Gerard Way x Reader)

Hide it (19)

A/N : Sorry I can't update as often I have internal mock exams soon and I need to put my focus on that. I do love writing this story though and I promise I will keep updating it. Also it now has over 700 reads.... wtf. Thank you for being so amazing and keep reading if you enjoy it!! This chapter is a little graphic and has some Self Harm so if it will affect you dont read it

Freyathegeekgirl Xx

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I press into my skin waiting for the familiar scarlet beads to form on my arm. It hurts but it's nothing I can't handle. I continue until my whole arm is red and raw and then I use toilet paper to wipe away excess blood. I hate how guilty it makes me feel because then I just want to do it more.  The guys still aren't back yet and I still feel alone.

I leave the bathroom and spray some perfume to hide the smell. I bury my blades and get changed into some black leggins and an old queen hoodie that my dad gave me. Slumped on the sofa scrolling through my phone I realise how hungry I am. I couldn't eat anything all day from the nerves or from the excitement that I can't believe I felt only a few hours ago.

I scroll through my instagram for the first time since all of the recent events and I realise how much destruction I have left behind. I have a few messages from my old bullies asking for fogiveness and a few from other bullies saying how angry my band dude friend was. Thanks Frank. 

My aunt in England has called me a few times congratulating me on making it in a band and says I can visit any time. I'm on a few news websites about the terrorist attacks and the suspects for the kidnapping at the arena. I also have lots of hatemail about me joining the band but because of Mikey and Ray's comments a few hundred people are fighting for me against these horrid people. There is even a hashtag and it warms my heart #Y/Nstaystrong . As long as these people keep fighting it will get better and the others will come around. I bet they are just jealous.. I'm sure I would be if I was back in their position. 

I can hear a car pull up outside and about two minutes later the boys come into the bus. They sit down around me in the little sofa area and everyone takes a deep breath. I smile at them to show that I am okay and I can feel the tense atmosphere calm down a little. 

"It will get better I promise.. we promise" Frank grins at me and I feel a surge of confidence through my blood. I can do this.

"Can we go outside and talk I feel like I need to take a breath" Gerard asks me and the others all look at me as if they had been expecting or waiting for him to ask this question. I agree and we stroll outside and decide to go for an evening stroll around the block. The idea itself is cringey but anything with Gerard is bound to brighten my mood.

But when I go outside something seems off...