Can I stay? (Gerard Way x Reader)

A mess (61)

We split apart breathing heavily and I am so confused. My heart and head are in polar opposite directions and I don't know what to do. I stand there with my mouth open and Frank looks the exact same way. My mind is raising alarm flags telling me how much of a bad person I am for disrespecting and well, cheating on Gerard. My heart wants more because it feels alive, I .. I don't know. Tears form in my eyes but none fall down my face.

Frank walks over to me and sighs and he looks so conflicted it hurts me. "Look, I'm not into any of this keeping secrets bullshit. When they get back with food I'm going to take Gee outside and explain how I feel, I'm so sorry Y/N" he says quietly  looking right into me eyes. It makes me melt a little and I walk past him collapsing on a sofa.

Two minutes later but what felt like hours they come back with the food so I plaster a grin on my face and try to guess what they got. My neck is sore so I can't move my head very well and I just don't know what to do. I'm running everything over in my head, I mean Gerard saved my life but Frank scared off my bullies and it just is a jumbled mess of feelings and scenarios and I don't even know what to believe anymore.

Frank stands up and walks over to the boys and mumbles something I can't hear. My heart feels like it's going to burst and I almost wish I was the one in the hospital bed and not Mikey. Frank and Gee walk out into the hallway and Ray comes and sits next to me. I'm biting my nails like a mad lady and tapping my feet. I expect to hear some shouting or anger or a reaction. Gee is going to hate me. I'm going to be kicked out of the band. I am going to be homeless. But the others wouldn't do that to me. Or would they. 

I have bitten one of my nails down to the point that it's bleeding and it stings so the tears in my eyes drop. There isn't many but Ray can see and he pulls my hand away from my mouth. 
"Hey look, I'm sure it will be okay. Talk to me, you are one of my best friends and I would do anything for you" he says smiling. I tug playfully on a strand of his hair which I know makes him feel like I appreiate what he just said. I'm about to reply when Gerard walks into the room. 

He doesn't look mad, or even upset he looks confused which I am pretty sure is the dominant emotion. He keeps saying something to himself but I can't quite work out what it is. Slowly that something gets louder and louder until he shouts it.

"I don't believe you". 

I don't think he is aiming it at me because he is looking at Frank. Frank looks hurt and vulnerable but Frank is not one to be pushed around.

" O you don't believe me? How's this for proof?" he says with that rough aggressive voice walking over to me. I stand up and look at Ray for help but he sits there a little bewildered, Ray is the sensible one and this is far from a rational situation. 

Then right in front of Gerard and Ray Frank pulls me in, tucks my hair behind me ear, breathes on my neck and kisses me. It's warm and welcoming, like coming home. It fits and my whole body is tingling with excitement and sensitivity. I close my eyes so I don't have to see the reaction of anyone in the room , I think I would break if I had to look at Gerard right now.

He pulls off with ease and looks at Gerard but he stands there silent. Ray has stood up by this point and nobody knows what to say. 

"I love Y/N " Gerard says out loud slowly heading towards me too. He picks up my hand wipes the blood from my finger and kisses me too. In front of Frank and Ray. This time there is a spark but it doesn't seem as big or spectacular. It feels desperate and clingy. It feels strange after I have felt so much with him before. I can feel my sad and confused emotions bubbling into anger , my skin is hot, My head hurts , my heart hurts, my lips hurt and I just explode.

"I am not some sex toy you can all claim as your own." I scream and I storm out of the room. My blood is pounding and I don't know where I am going. Just anywhere but here. I walk straight out of the hotel and down the street. My mind doesn't know where it's going but my feet keep moving towards the only person who doesn't know the mess I'm in right now. 

I practically run into the hospital and they don't let me past the main desk. At this point I'm desperate and crying and a mess. I run my hands through my hair and then immediatley feel where my stitches are. It's a long shot but it's my only option right now. I tug on one of the stitches and almost immediatley the other come loose too, It's bleeding and it doesn't even hurt because of all the emotional pain I'm in right now. I scream to draw attention to myself and nearly straight away two male nurses are helping me into a ward.

I am taken into a ward where the stitches are cleared up and re-done but they say they want me to stay for the night. I get given a bed and I am taken onto a ward which I know has the one person I need to see the most on. I never had any siblings or any friends so he is the closest thing I have. As if by magic my assigned bed is right next to his and he is awake looking at me in shock. 

I lay down but once the nurses have gone I break and I cry but it feels okay because Mikey is here. He looks at me with so much concern it hurts me. 
"Hey Y/N what happened?" he says urgently trying to be quiet not to wake anyone. I shake my head and he says it's okay that I can't talk right now that I just need time honestly I've never respected him more than I do in this moment right now.

hHe reaches a hand over to my bed in support and I grip it gently with my own hand and close my eyes. Then I'm asleep.