Can I stay? (Gerard Way x Reader)

Back to us (54)

We walk outside and into the nearest park because that's just what's near us. I kind of like that it's a park though it makes me feel more safe because I've only ever had good experiences in parks. Strolling through the grass to get to a small clearing perfect and private so that we can talk it out. It's really warm outside today but there aren't many people around so it's quiet. I think this is the first time I've ever felt awkward around him always avoiding his eyes. 

We get to the clearing and we sit down on the grass next to each other. It takes a while before we speak because this scenario is unusual for the both of us. I turn to look at him and my heart sinks a little. Gerard is hunched and hiding his face, but I can tell he's upset. I get that this whole situation is shitty and I get that I don't feel great right now but I think I need to be here for Gerard. I need to be okay for him.

I touch his shoulder and and he looks up at me straight into my eyes. He's not crying but I can see the tears he's trying to hold back. 

"I'm sorry Y/N" he whisperes taking my hands and holding them in his own. He looks down at the ground and I can feel his body go heavy. I feel awful for freaking out earlier but it's not me it's just my brain.

"Why didn't you tell me" I whisper not wanting to be too demanding but still wanting to know the answer. He looks up at me and frowns a little but more in a dissapointed way.

"I didn't want to hurt you, I know how depression is and I knew it would hurt you. I just, I hate it. You don't deserve a broken person" Gerard says almost getting angry at the end. It hurts me that he cares so much. 

I reach for his arms and roll up his jumper and try not to look shocked. I knew what would be there and I can see Gee shrinking away from me but i lower my face down and kiss the scars. I am trying to be as gentle as I can but I can still feel a little blood on my lips which I quickly wipe off. He looks down at me and a single tear rolls down his cheek.

"I don't care if you think you are broken. I'm broken too and I think you're amazing and powerful and that you help so many people" I say looking directly at his hazel eyes. I don't want to be stereotypical but his eyes are like chestnuts and it is really comforting. 

He looks up at me and then gives me a hug and strokes the back of my hair a bit which keeps me calm. I don't really know why I was nervous for this because all seems to be goign well so far. We sit there for a bit just enjoying being alive but then he says something and it shocks my system. 

He says the one thing I have been dreading since the day I met him. That ne phrase to ruin them all. The single thing I didn't want to happen and I can feel my heart crushing inside my body.

He says "I think we should take a break"