Can I stay? (Gerard Way x Reader)

Wrong (63)

The next few weeks are.. strange. I don't know what to think anymore and I feel like instead of living each day I'm simply surviving. Sleep, wake up, work, go back to sleep. Nothing crazy has happened I just feel like I'm going slowly insane. I don't talk to Gerard as much as we don't get much time alone. 

Mikey came out of hospital but he can't travel around a lot as it's hard getting him from the studio to the apartment we have rented nearby.It's great to have him around us again and sure I can talk to him if I need it but he is almost never alone, like ever. I guess you could see it as a good thing because we are all kind of protective over him after what happened but it also Kinda sucks. Ray being the brilliant musician he is is working so hard he barely has a second to breathe and Frank is just-

I don't know how to finish the word. He's great he really is but not like I expected it to be. Usually we get on amazingly, we joke around and laugh a lot. I mean laugh A LOT. We would never run out of things to say and the guys always used to say that we got on so well we could be siblings. But now, it feels strained and a little awkward. Frank is great and yes when we are with the other guys it's all great and we laugh and joke around but when it's just us it's like our brains go empty. With Gerard I always had something to say or talk about but with Frank it really depends on what happened in the day. 

When he kisses me it feels weird, that spark we had the night he told Gerard that was so real but this feels fake. It's pissing me off because it's like my brain lied to me, how dare my emotions make me feel something but only for the first few days. My own body tricked me. But you know apparently they're just chemicals. The sad thing is it's not just me who feels like this, Frank does too and the other day he "dumped" me. Not like super bad we just agreed to stop because it wasn't working. We are like best friends, or siblings, the other guys are right and we get on so much better when we just hang out rather than being romantic. To tell the truth I really miss Gee.  

After everything I put him through I don't want to hurt him again and I have no idea what he is thinking now me and Frank are just friends again. I feel like the only thing I can really do to get my emotions out is sit on the bottom of my bed and rant to venom (my dog). He always listenes but you know dogs can't help or comfort you. 

I am sitting on my bed watching cartoons (which is something I always used to do when I was sad) and cuddling venom. My phone is full of photos of my parents and I and I'm scrolling through remembering the good times. Well mostly good times, I'm leaving out the bullying and depression. I look at our smiling faces and my heart hurts. I miss them, I really miss them damit. My dad was always so supportive of me, sure he didn't always agree with my music taste but he was just so amazing and the same for my mum. I look at our trips to New York and the one in London and try to live them again through my memories.

I don't notice when he comes in and I don't know how long he's been there but whilst vicariously trying to live through my phone I feel a hand placed on my shoulder. I ignore it because I really don't need drama right now. I don't need people. I need something private Special. Music.

I try and sing a song in my head but I can't imaginarily sing whoever is behind me away. Before too long the hand releases and the person behind me shifts forward to sit right beside me. The door is still shut and it makes me feel weird, not that there's anything to feel weird about. I still refuse to turn my head because I want to be involved now with my smiling family that may not be with me right now.

"I've missed you too you know, and them but mostly you" the voice from next to me says. My ears start to trune in because I immediatley know this is not one of the guys. I can see that the door has opened by a creak and as I turn around I'm completely in shock.

OLIVER?! My childhood best friend who transfered state because of his parent's job, who I haven't seen since middle school. We couldn't keep contact because I didn't have a phone yet and after he was gone he never came back to visit so I didn't know how to reach him. Shit man, Oliver was like a brother to me and him and my dad were super close too.. 

He wraps me in a hug and I look him up and down trying to see how he has changed. Same mousled auburn hair and little freckles. Same friendly smile. Just bigger and more mature. 

The door opens even more and the guys walk in. "SURPRISE" they shout laughing at each other but mostly my face, which is fixed in a surprised position. HOW?!