6~ Hallelujah

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Victoria POV

I woke up as the moonlight shone brightly through the huge glass window. I could hear my stomach rumbling as I felt my body being constrained. I looked behind me to see Eric snoring lightly and with his arm around my waist. His grip was tight as if he was using all his strength to keep me close.

I looked down in the front 0f me and realized my top was off and I only had my bra and panties on. I remembered giving him a massage but I must have fallen asleep in the process.

I eased out his embrace and quietly went into the bathroom. I turned on the shower and got in. The warm water washed over me as thoughts of Eric's sexual playfulness caused my skin to prickle.

I imagined staring into his huge blue eyes and running my fingers through his blonde hair. The way he looked at me at times when I would catch him, almost warned me of the things he would actually do to me. They seemed dark and pleasurable and I was afraid that I may never recover if I surrendered.

I had promised myself that I would only give the most precious thing I owned to my husband. It would be the one thing that would make me different from any other woman he had been with. When I gave it to him, no other would command or own my body but him, but lately things were starting to change.

I was really starting to like Eric. He was sweet, smart and sexy as the day was long. He had soft full natural lips, and the small blonde curls at the top of his head made me want to rub my fingers through them all day. Although I hadn't known him for long, there was an attraction. It just wasn't sexual but I could feel us bonding mentally. Yes he may have said things in flirting but he never pressured me once to have sex.

He is going to claim you and once he does everything is going to change," Mama Deb words repeated in my head.

I assumed he realized I was a virgin because I wouldn't just give in to his words. I wanted to be a respectable girl and the guy I gave my heart to would be the one I spent the rest of my life with.

I had never thought about dating outside my race. I figured I would meet a nice black guy in college, he would woo me and then we would get married and live a simple life. Unfortunately I had no prospects and once I pledged Delta the small hope I had deminshed.

Every since I joined Delta the black fraternities and sororities turned up their noses or told me I was a sellout and most avoided me the plaque. Even some of the white sororities and fraternities didn't even want to be in the same room with me. It was a f'ed up situation but the women of Delta had embraced and welcomed me in the the fold. Things were getting better but the lack of a relationship sometimes made me feel that I was standing in the corner all alone.

Seeing Sara with Brad made me realize I was definitely missing something but I wasn't quite ready to lay things on the line. Even if I didn't find the perfect man here, maybe he was still there after I graduated. I wasn't quite ready to give up and the chances of finding the One was slowing dissipating.

Like Mama Deb said," you don't need a man to complete you. God made you in His own image and you will never faultier with Him on your side. If you want a man, tell God what you looking for. Talk to Him and don't be afraid to tell him what you want but don't be surprise when he answers it."

I had asked The Lord several months ago to send me someone that was compatible, that would be loving and would bring me joy. I wanted someone faithful, loyal and a man that would complete me emotionally, mentally and of course sexually. Was I asking too much? Truly I just wanted to find the man of my life that would share in the good or bad times that would make us stronger and we both would put God first.

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