NANCY
JUNE 2018
On the inside, I was a nervous wreck, but on the outside, I remained calm and collected, determined not to let John see how much this had affected me. We were here to support Jordan, and that's all that mattered. The flight out to Russia was long, but Rebekah and I were entertained by my two gorgeous nieces for the majority of the flight - Elexa, at three years of age, and Alba, who was eighteen months old. They were my absolute pride and joy, and I'd loved spending more time with them since being back in Liverpool. Arriving at the hotel, we made our way to our rooms, and I unpacked my bags. Tired from the flight, I laid down on my bed, and closed my eyes for a quick nap. The nap soon turned into a three hour sleep, and I was awoken by the sound of my phone ringing. Jumping up, I pressed it to my ear.
"Hello." I rushed.
"Nance!" Jordan chirped down the phone.
"How are you?" I asked, glad to hear my big brother's voice.
"I'm good, chuck. How are you?"
"Tired." I chuckled.
"I'm not surprised." He responded. "Are you coming down to the bar?"
I hesitated. "Who's there?"
"He's not here." He said. "It's just me and a few of the lads. Beck's coming down soon."
"Okay, I'll be down in ten."
"See you soon."
The second I stepped through the door to the bar, Jordan rushed over to me. He threw his arms around me a hugged me tightly. "He's just turned up." He said as he pulled away. I sighed, rolling my eyes. "You don't have to come over if you don't want. I haven't told him you're here."
"It's fine." I shook my head.
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure."
Taking a deep breath, I made my way over to the table where the boys were sat. John glanced up at me and did a double take, as if he didn't realise it was me sat there. He sent me a weak smile and ran his hand through his hair. It felt as though my heart shattered into a million little pieces as we sat there, so close but so far away. As we sat there talking to all of our friends, the situation got more awkward. "I'm gonna go." John said, standing up from the table.
"No, I'll go." I said. "I'll see you all later."
I didn't stay to listen to their protests as I made my way quickly out of the bar. My heart was pounding and I felt like I was going to have a panic attack. Moving as quickly as I could through the corridors, I was determined to get back to my room before anyone saw me.
Someone began calling my name, as I turned to see who it was, my hearth hitched in my throat.
"Nance, are you okay?" John asked, "You don't look so good."
"Panic attack." I muttered, holding my chest.
"Okay." He nodded. "Breathe. Just breathe with me. In and out."
I nodded at him, taking a few deep breaths.
"That's it. You're doing great." He smiled. "Keep breathing."
