Lose you to Love me...

CHAPTER 6♡♡

I remember the first time I met Kate Luichman, it was two months after the accident and I had completely shut everyone and everything out, it was like I was imprisoned in my own head, I had no facial expression. To me, the world might as well have been over and aunt Rose and uncle David were very worried and scared for my mental health and general well-being.

Seeing a once vibrant and happy child, looking so...dead...they didn't know what to do with me, I'd wake up in the middle of the night screaming and each night the dreams seemed to intensify and they decided to ask for professional help. I remember that morning I had protested so much and threw a tantrum, though I spoke no words my actions showed them that I did not like the idea.

I believed I did not need to talk to anyone, I did not want to talk to anyone I wanted to be left alone. They tried bribing me with sweets and chocolates and I refused each time, the reception area at Dr. Kate Luichman's office was in complete chaos because of me and this drew a lot of attention to us.

No one could calm me, not even mom's attempts to do so.it was until this very petite brunette with a lot of freckles hidden behind ridiculously large frames walked in,I noticed her first because my senses were all heightened,I remember seizing my struggle to get a proper look at her,we stood there for a good 2 minutes, just staring at each other.

My frozen state caused my aunt to turn so she could see what I was looking at. She gasped loudly and started apologizing for the ruckus we were causing or rather I was causing to which Dr. Kate just brushed off, saying something about she understood since she has 3 kids of her own. She asked my mom why we were there and upon hearing our story she decided, she'd be my doctor.

It took months until I finally started talking, before that I'd enter her office and just stare at her, and she'd tell me stories about her family, I wasn't interested so I'd just stare blankly. When we started talking and  I told her about my anxiety attacks and depression she prescribed some medication naturally and when we realized that medication didn't seem to work, she told me to close my eyes and inhale then exhale, then open my eyes and name five things I saw first upon opening my eyes,this helped me familiarise myself with my surroundings. This method seemed to calm me down.

Which I was currently doing right now, I woke up feeling way off today and the fact that I was moved to a smaller and a bit clustered lecture room today due to the renovations currently taking place wasn't helping my anxiety at all. Jay was not coming to class today because that lazy ass overslept which left me with..well...myself...

I closed my eyes for the 4th time and did the breathing exercises then opened my eyes.1, ceiling,2, tall guy in front of me,3, smart board,4, a huge tree outside my window,5, opening door and Shawn walking in...wait .. what. Shawn is in this class too?..I groaned under my breath, today was not my day...he stood by the door scanning the room, I knew he was looking for someone and I silently prayed to God that he did not notice me.

But just like every other time I prayed for something to God,he just showed me that it is not about what I want but what he wants, because Shawn's eyes landed on me and he smiled a smile that reached his eyes and showed off his pearly white...well at least he has good dental hygiene...I thought to myself as he walked up to me and took the seat next to me.

"Hie Janie"  he greeted, the smile still presents on his face. i narrowed my eyes hating his newly found nickname for me, I mean why do people need to shorten other people's names, just call me with my name or don't call me at all.

" that's not my name Shawn, in case you have forgotten I will gladly remind you, but still it's troublesome, so I won't, learn my name or don't call me at all, personally I'd prefer the latter,but knowing you,I won't have that luxury"i told him but he still smiled