Lose you to Love me...

CHAPTER 8 ♡♡

The next few days post the lunch date were really busy,everyone was trying hard to finish their assignments before the break and there was physical tension in the air.Jay was giving me a headache with his constant shinning,he'd been living in my dorm room too, trying to get his work done an since I was done,his stress was transferred to me.

I hadn't spoken to Shawn ever since the lunch,he had been texting me though,asking how I was, sometimes I responded because it was the polite thing to do but sometimes,I just ignored him.There were rumours circulating that him and I were dating and this was a major contribution to why I was avoiding him.

I did not like the rumours and I don't think he's been denying it,I did suspect he liked me more than just a friend but I tried to make it clear that I wanted friendship or nothing at all.Jay was also making jokes about the situation and he wasn't being helpful.

"So what time are we driving down tomorrow,I need to pack my suitcase and come over,whose driving, you or me?" Jay asked as I was packing my suitcase for the journey home tomorrow,I cant believe that after all this chaos ,we could finally see the family.

"Uhh,mom is coming to fetch us tomorrow at 8:30 in the morning and she is very punctual,so please do not get on her bad side by being a slow poke, otherwise,it will be a long drive" I told him while rubbing my temples, this headache was going to kill me one day.

"Are you sure you're okay Jane,I know I ask this everyday and you say you're fine but after the nightmares you've been having,I'm worried,do you need to see someone?". He asked me.Our relationship had grown very strong the past few weeks and he'd been the one to wake me up and comfort me when I'd been screaming in my sleep due to a nightmare,this made me tell him everything,he deserved to know and I remember he just hugged me after I told him and we stayed that way for a good hour and a half.

"I'm fine Jay really,it's just this headache and I guess I'm kinda freaking out about driving tomorrow but I know mom is a safe driver, I just still freak out,but I'm okay I promise"I reassured him.

"Can you tell me about them?,the nightmares that is"asked jay.i had never told anyone about the nightmares not even my therapist,she just assumed it was the accident but it was much more than that.

"It's different scenarios of the accident,it's never exactly what happened but much worse and each time I am the sole survivor and I have to look at the blood,Soo much blood,it's the blood that freaks me out,seeing them lying lifeless in front of me while I barely had a scratch,it breaks me Jay,what if it was my fault,I'm the one who suggested we go.." I didn't finish my sentence because I was suddenly engulfed in a huge bear hug by Jay

"Don't ever think like that Jane,it was not your fault,nobody could have predicted it,it was an accident a terrible one and you're a victim, because it took them from you,but never blame yourself okay.i want you to talk to me Jane tell me when these thoughts invade your mind,you are not alone,you have me,you have mama Rose and papa  and Jamie,you're not alone"he said and I could feel the tears flowing down my cheeks

"Thanks Jay,I love you"

"I love you too Snicker doodles,now enough of this crying,let's finish packing up here so that I can make us some food,sounds good?"he asked and I smiled,he always knew how to make me smile.

After packing and eating Jay went to fetch his stuff and I stayed washing our dishes,when I heard a knock on the door.i never really had any visitors,so when I opened the door and saw Shawn standing there in all his glory,i was a bit startled..so much for avoiding him..

"Uhm,Shawn what are you doing here?" I asked obviously confused by his sudden appearance." Have you been crying?" He asked me and I was about taken aback by his question because I was crying and I didn't think anyone would notice since I had freshened up,I rolled my eyes playfully to brush it off.