Lose you to Love me...

CHAPTER 17 ♡♡

SHAWN MATTHEW RIVERS POV.

I was woken from my peaceful slumber by the sound of whimpering and it took me about 3 and a half minutes to gain full consciousness  and remember  that I was not in my apartment and that i was sleeping in grey's  bed.

The sound of whimpering increased and I sat up and saw grey, tossing and turning whimpering  with tears running down her face, the sight was heartbreaking. She was having a nightmare and I decided to wake her up and save her from the nightmare she was clearly  having.

As I shook her she started to thrash harder and scream and her silent sobbing turned into full cries, I was taken aback by the suddeness and I shook her again, needing to let her know she's safe and that everything would be okay.

"baby, wake up, you're okay, its okay,im right here"i said while shaking her but her actions didn't cease so I kept trying by speaking softly and reassuring  her.

"mommy... Daddy... Please wake up..please don't leave me....please.. Please wake up...... NO!!!!! "I heard her say and my heart broke, her nightmare was about loosing  her parents,i knew how much her parents meant to her, many young adults didn't have that close of a relationship with their parents but she was different.

I shook her more time and her eyes snapped open and she shot up from her sleeping position  into a sitting one. Her breathing laboured and tears  still streaming down her cheeks and her body drenched in sweat. She looked lost and as if she had no idea I was here.

When her face finally settled on me, she frowned a bit and when she realised it was me, her eyes slightly widened and I saw fear flash across her eyes.. Was she scared of me? She looked away and got out of bed and went into the bathroom, after a few minutes I heard the shower running, I sighed.

How long has she been having these nightmares and what triggered them, is this why she kept people away..

What happened to you  grey...

Sighing again, I got out of bed and checked the time and saw that it was just one in the morning. I stripped the bed and grabbed  new sheets and put them on the bed since the ones that were on were  drenched with sweat.i then sat on the bed and grabbed my phone while waiting for her to finish.

I saw that I had a text from Kaitlyn telling that they were going out later and if I wanted to  go, I should let her know, I didn't  respond, I'll wait and see if grey is fine first. When I  heard the bathroom door open I placed my phone on the night stand.

I noticed that she was not looking at me, she went into her closet and grabbed a grey tee that I guessed belonged to jayden because of how big it looked on her.after wearing it she went to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water ,the way she moved made me realised that she was used to this, to her this was normal.

She then grabbed her book bag and sat by her study table, switching on the lamp on it, then started  paging her books. I sighed. Realising  that she was closing herself  up again, pushing me away, I thought we were finally  past that but I guess not.

I'm scared that when you find out how messed up I Am you will leave...

I remember her saying. My beautiful girlfriend has been through a lot. I need to show her that I'm here for the good and the bad moments. I got out of  bed and I saw her tense as  she saw me walking  over to her. I got next to her and swung her chair around so that she was facing me, yet she did not look at me. I leaned in a place a lingering kiss on her forehead then crouched  in front if her.

I grabbed her face between my palms  forcing her to face me. Her eyes were bloodshot red and swollen due to all the crying.

"I love you  grey.i know saying this might scare you but I need you to know that I am utterly and irrecoverably in love with you Jane-tashely and I've loved for for  a while now. I'm not saying this to get an answer from you, I'm  telling you this because I need you to know that I'm here to stay and you can't push me away, I'll always be here weather were together or not so please Jane don't push me  away"i said to her needing her to understand  my intentions .ive loved her since that day that she went to the pizza palace with me and met my friends, It was that day that I finally realised my feelings  but I'm not sure When I fell for her exactly.