Lose you to Love me...

CHAPTER 18 ♡♡

Being in a relationship  is a lot of work and sacrifice,communication,compromise,understanding that we're all different and that you can't always have space,especially if you are an introvert like me and it takes a toll on you, personally I wouldn't mind
If Shawn and I's relationship was over the phone, I'm not a physical person and I'm not romantic and I definitely love my personal space.

I wouldn't mind if he never spoke to me for an entire day, I'd just think it's his way of saying he needs space, but Shawn is a hands on person,he always has to touch me, not in a sexual way, no, he always finds ways to hold my hand when we walk, or steal a kiss whenever the opportunity occurs, or hug me, like I said he always has to be that close to me and it used to bother me since I love my personal space and he is always invading  it.

At the beginning of our relationship  I would scold him and tell him to stop but now I realised that it's his way if showing that he cares for me, and he always says that it's because sometimes he doesn't believe that I'm actually  his and that's when the feminist in me snaps and tells him that I am not property and he can't own me to which he just grins saying I look cute when I act all serious, which is annoying since I will not be acting.

But the point is I realized that after I started dating Shawn I never actually have time to myself and this has made me more agitated and testy, because between school, Shawn, Shawn, Shawn, Shawn, jayden, some more Shawn, my family, his friends, school and then some more of him, I haven't had time to actually stop and breathe, to just make sense of everything because it feels like we're moving too fast and I'm loosing control of everything and this has me at the brink of an emotional  breakdown and my headache isn't helping either.

"so want to come over to my place after your exam? "Shawn asked as we walked to class and I looked at him. ...I had forgotten he was even here...

"No"i said

"okay, we don't have to go to my place, let's go to that Korean place you like, I'm in the mood for some Korean delicacies "he suggested his eyes litting up at the thought..

"not hungry "I simply said.

"okay, Korean movies are out of the question, I got it. What about a movie then, we can either go out and watch one or go back to your dorm and watch one off of Netflix and we can order in"he said sounding hopeful and I  just sighed.

"I'm not in the mood Shawn "I said irritably  and he furrowed his eyebrows..

"what's up? Why are you so testy all of a sudden "he asked and I felt my irritation rise

"I'm not testy, I didn't know it was a crime to not be in the mood"i said testily and defensive  because how dare he even

"woah,calm down grey,are you on your period or something, I thought you already been through that "he said and I felt myself bubble with anger. What's his problem..

What's your problem

"why are you bringing up my period, don't tell me you're one of those guys who period shame girls "I said.. Now you're just picking fights Jane-tashely cut the guy some slack and tell him what your problem is..

Don't tell me what to do.

"I wasn't period shaming, is that even a thing, I didn't even know it was a thing.okay,its obvious something is up with you, you've been more... More bitchy than usual for a lack of the right word, so tell me what's going on, are you stressing about your exams"he responded and I scowled and grimaced at his choice of wording..

Did he just call me a Bitch...what the actual flip. I stopped abruptly and he did too, I realized that our hands were entertwined, I snatched my hand away and looked at him trying to figure out what brought that up.. Was I really acting like A bitch, all I did was decline his suggestion to hang out after the exam did that earn me the name 'bitch ' sigh