Lose you to Love me...

CHAPTER 20 ♡♡

Human beings are creatures of instinct, as much as we don't like being compared to animals, we sometimes act like them, I mean when a lion is hungry, it's first instinct is to hunt, it doesn't matter who looses their life as long as it has water.

Such is human beings, when we feel attacked or when we feel like A situation isn't in our control anymore we act on instinct and that instinct is to save ourselves first, save ourselves the heartbreak and disappointment that follows, so we attack the other part, it's not always intentionally  it's just a subconscious thing, we don't care who gets hurt by our actions and we certainly don't think about how our actions will affect the future, it sucks but it's that truth.

I know that Shawn spoke from Faustration and I'm not one to let such as those get to me, especially when I finally have a sound mind and can think rationally, I won't  pick a fight where there is none.. It's like Kate says, walk away..

Eversince the fight I've been busy working on myself and I haven't reached out to Shawn because one he is trying to prove a point and two I'm not that brave we both messed up  but he walked away,with no intention of returning until he accomplished whatever agenda he had going on.

My nap was interrupted by a knock on my door, I groaned and sat up, it's not like I was actually napping. I checked the time and saw that it was almost 8pm..

Who could it be, Jay and Kyle are gone away to Kyle's family and Nax is studying for his exam, where's his twin cousins, Michael and Malcolm are staying over at his house, they don't know where I stay. The knocking increased and I rolled my eyes.. Break the door why don't you..

I got up and walked over and opened the door, only to be met by an impatient Matthew... We stood there staring at each other,until I got tired of the silence and walked back into the room leaving the door open as an obvious sign of invititation.

I went to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water, and when I turned taking a sip, I noticed that he was still standing by the door..

"well, are you going to stand the and stare at me the whole time or are you going to come in and tell me why you're here in my dorm at 8? pm "I said sitting down on the chair in my dorm. I really need to find that bigger apartment with Jay and Kyle.

He snapped out of whatever state he was in and walked in closing the door behind him. I wasn't mad at him, even for dropping the call the way he had, I realized then that I wasn't in the right mind and I took it out on him. I should have asked for space but what he did was totally uncalled for.

He walked over to where I was and sat on the chair opposite of me when I realized the gift bag he was holding. I was curious but I kept quiet. I'll let him vent.

"why didn't you call? "he asked lowly, I couldn't tell what he was feeling from his voice, it was devoid of any emotions yet his eyes showed the brewing storm in them.

"why didn't you? "I asked smartly he didn't get to make me feel bad, he also didn't reach out. I heard him sigh.

"you could've called, or texted or better yet, came to talk to me, but no you chose to stick to your stubbornness and just stopped altogether "he said and I found myself folding my arms over my chest, it was a defensive pose, I was in defensive mode.

"you're saying this because you called and texted and came to talk to me right"i said testily and I saw his shoulders tense.

"well I'm here aren't I ?"he responded and I resisted the urge to get up and go open the door and show him out.seriously...

"after how many days Matthew, after six days and you're only here because of what you said over the phone earlier ,so you don't get to say that "I told him. He needed to know that I wasn't the only one in the wrong here.