Lose you to Love me...

CHAPTER 25 ♡♡

My mother always used to tell me that, I shouldn't rush growing up. She told me to enjoy my early years and always make decisions based on my heart and brain because if those two are working against each other you will never me happy. She also told me to make me happy first, think about my happiness and put it above everything else.

And I've lived by those words, but now with Shawn having dropped such a bomb on me, my mind and heart have stopped working altogether .

I sighed and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge then went to my bedroom. Jay and Kyle went on a date leaving me to my own dilemma. They don't know what happened, it's been two days and everytime I walk into my room I'm met by the red velvet box on my night stand. It mocks me.

I sat down on my bed and grabbbed the little box. Remembering what happened  after he asked me to marry him.

Recap

What!?

I laughed, thinking this was some sick joke but the expression on his face sobered me up.. He was serious.

"you want us to get married? "I asked. Even though I heard him, it all sounded too unreal to me. He wanted us to get married.

"that's what i said, grey.. Look, just listen to me okay. We've been together for six years now and yes we had our ups and downs but we always made it through, we never gave up no matter how hard it got. I believe that I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I want to build a home with you, grow a family together and I want to grow old and grey with you. This might be early or whatever but we don't have to get married now, we can wait for  a year or two or ten, I don't care, as long as you know my intentions. Just.. Just please accept my proposal Jane.. I love you so much it overwhelms me... Make me the luckiest man on the planet and be my wife"he asked hopefully.

I stared at him,wondering where this idea came from. I thought we were doing great, yes I thought about marriage and I want to marry him, but this all seems so sudden and rushed. Is this because...

"is this because I  said, we should pursue a long distance relationship? Don't you trust me to be loyal while you're away, is that what this is about? You had to get something to tie me down"i asked him breaking the suffocating yet welcomed silence.

"no, no, no, no, no baby, that's not what this is about, I accepted the long distance relationship because I know how much you really wanted that job position and I'm proud of you. I'm proposing because I don't want you to doubt me, or my love, I don't want you to forget how much I love you, if I'm being honest it is to keep the guys away, because you're beautiful, smart, kind,you have an amazing personality and I don't trust those guys. I trust you more than I even trust myself "he said and I smiled.

"when will you realise that you're all I want Duffy,but I like, jealously looks great on you"i said trying to lighten the mood

"I don't know if I should take that as a compliment.so what do you say, do you accept my proposal? "he asked and I sighed.

"well since you said we don't have to get married now, and that this proposal wasn't a scheme to imprison me to you. Then yes, yes Shawn I will marry you "I told him and he grinned like a loon. Showing his pearly whites.

Before he could grab me and pick me up.. I raised a palm and said,

"but not now, we have graduation soon and we have to start work and get comfortable with that first then we can get married. I don't want to rush this, only to ruin everything because we didn't take our time, okay? "