Addicted

50 (Colby's POV)

I watched her tongue dart out of her mouth then back in.

"What is it?" She asked, her voice breathy.

 I scooted closer to her, taking her hand, rubbing my thumb over the bandage from her cut. I knew this was dangerous but I was pretty sure that I had control of myself.

"I have this intense attraction to you that makes me controlling myself even harder. I get lost in you and can't think about anything but taking you."

And letting my fangs puncture that soft skin of yours, but I'm not gonna say that. I heard her soft intake of breath and felt her hand trembling in mine.

"So, I lost control with you that night. I have this thing...where I can pick up on others emotions or feelings sometimes. That night...you were attracted to me. I felt it and that combined with my own attraction towards you, plus the way we were talking." I sighed, running my hand through my hair again.

Damn, I did that a lot.

 "I just let it take over me, and I lost control until I heard the fear in your voice. That stopped me but I was angry. I was angry at myself for putting you in danger, angry at you for making me feel that way...angry at Sam for letting me take you upstairs, knowing that I'm messed up. I acted that way towards you because I wanted you to leave. To get as far away from me as you possibly could and never look back."

 Her eyes were wide, the green almost drowning out the rest, her hand limp in mine.  I wanted to kiss her so badly. No, it wasn't safe.

Nothing but talking...but maybe...

"Chloe, it would have been safer if I had just let you stay mad at me. For your own good, you should never want to be around me. After what happened with Millie, and Emilie...are you scared of me?"

Again, I was conflicted. I wanted her to kick me out, barring me from her life...but I wanted her to open her arms to me and tell me that she wasn't afraid.

She watched me for a moment, the seconds agonizingly slow. Each treacherous moment making me more and more anxious. I actually felt like my life, or how it was going to play out, was all in her hands. I was nervous as fuck and I didn't like it at all.

 She bit her lip, her white teeth pressing into her rosy lip so hard, I was worried about her drawing blood. That wouldn't be good. I could only handle so much at one time.

Fucking answer me already! She swallowed again, her throat convulsing.

 "Chloe, seriously. I need you to say something already. Please baby."

Oops. Didn't mean to say that.

 Her eyes went even wider at that word. Damn it.

 "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that."

 "No...it's fine. I kind of liked it. I'm not scared of you. I don't believe that you will hurt me. You already lost control with me and were able to bring yourself out of it. Colby, what are we doing? You've already told me about your love hate thing which is basically the same as what I'm feeling for you."

 I already knew that she was attracted to me, but not that she cared for me.

 "You care about me?" I asked her, hearing how unsure I was in my own voice.

She smiled a little and nodded.

"I do. Damned if I know why...but I do. This is crazy and I don't understand it at all, but I want to give it a shot." Her cheeks flamed up again in embarrassment. "I mean, if you do." She stammered out.

 Thoughts were flying through my brain that I didn't understand. My brow creased as I looked back at her.

"What do you mean? Like, you be my girlfriend or something?"

She looked down and shrugged. "I don't know. I guess. I mean, maybe we should start as friends first. I just don't know how we're going to be friends feeling like this towards one another."

She was probably right about that. I twisted my earring, staring at her while I thought.

A girlfriend? I hadn't care about anyone since Emilie, not like that. Was I even ready for that?

 "Can I think about it?" Her face fell and honestly, my heart fell with it. "I want to Chloe, really. I'm just kind of scared of myself and I feel like I need to talk to Sam about some things first. I know that must sound weird to you, but he knows me better than anyone. I just don't want to chance putting you in danger."

Next thing I knew she was in my lap, her hands fisted in my hair and her lips pressed against mine. The monster started growling, scratching at it's cage, begging to be let free as my tongue danced with hers.

It was easier to control him this time. Maybe it was because Sam had been working with me on my control, or maybe it was because this wasn't fast and intense. It was more soft and languid, a slow dance that almost had me purring like a kitten. This girl had me so fucked up.

She tried to speed things up, grinding into my lap and honestly, it almost made me come undone. I broke the kiss and pulled back a little, placing my fingers around her jaw. We were both breathing heavily, me soaking in her scent.

"I thought talking only? I just told you that I was dangerous. You're fucking crazy." My voice came out rough and gravelly. "We can't do this. I will hurt you."

"I've always liked a little element of danger but I don't believe that." She replied, her lips swollen from our kiss, her face flushed.

 I moved my hand from her jaw, placing it against her cheek.

"I want to. You have no idea...but I can't. Not yet."

She laid her forehead against mine, staring into my eyes. "See? You have control." She whispered before she planted one more soft, sweet kiss on my waiting lips.

 I gripped her waist and lifted her off of me, placing her beside me on the couch.